Converse x Vans

Understanding

Nicks POV

"Thanks mum for letting me stay." I say

"I will always let you stay Nicky, but you need to talk to Charlie soon he is worried sick." She says.

"I will." I sigh. "Soon."

"Okay but because I turned your room into an office you'll have to sleep on the couch or with me." She smiles. "Like old times."

I used to sleep in Mums bed when I had nightmares when I was little. I guess this feels like a nightmare.

"I'll sleep on the couch, thanks mum." I say forcing a smile.

She gives me some spare pillows and I lay on the couch, fuck. I actually abandoned the one person who I need at this moment and he obviously knows I'm here and, I just don't know if I'm ready to face him yet. Maybe tomorrow if he comes.

My mind races for hours until I finally realise that Charlie could of relapsed after I left. I bolt upright and instantly call Chase.

"Hello." He groans through the phone.

"Chase we're you sleeping with your AirPods in?" I ask.

"Off topic, what do you want I'm trying to sleep." He asks.

"I need to know if Charlie is okay I don't know if he is and I want to make sure please go check on him." I plead."

"Ok ok I'm going."He groans.

I hear his bed creak as he hops out of the bed and starts to walk towards Charlie and I'd bedroom. I hear the door creak open and then shut.

"He's asleep." He says.

"No blood stains?" I ask.

"No Nick he's fine." He says. "We'll mostly you did leave."

"I'm coming back tomorrow I just." I pause.

"It's okay." He says. "I'll see you tomorrow goodnight."

"Goodnight." I say and he hangs up the phone.

"He really needs to stop having his AirPods in while sleeping." I laugh.

I turn over and try to fall asleep but nothing works, nothing. I try the military trick and I get an hour sleep before I wake up and when I try it again it doesn't work. I hate this.

The rest of the night is restless and sleepless, by the time morning rolls around I still only have one hour of sleep.

Charlie's POV

The rain splashes against my car windscreen like rocks. I feel horrible, I let Nick just leave without reason and even though he's at Mums I don't think that it's a good idea.

I pull into Sarah's house, the morning sky pouring around me. I step onto the pavement. I slowly walk to the door.

"You've got this." I whisper.

I knock on the door gingerly and I hear someone walking to the door. Nick open the door, his eyes are bloodshot and he has massive eye bags. A tear streams from his eye as he sees me.

"Hey." He says.

"Hi." I smile.

"Is something funny?" He asks anger rising.

"No, no not at all it's just ironic we always say Hi and Hi after being apart from each other almost like the first time we met." I smile.

"Yeah I guess." He says.

"Come in, we need to talk." He sighs.

He invites me in and when he does, mum comes down the stairs and greets me.

"Charlie!" She says happily.

"Hi mum." I smile.

Sarah leaves the house to go do errands and when she does Nick sits down and rubs his forehead.

"Charlie I'm so-." He starts.

"No." I say sternly. "There is no need to be sorry for processing something differently to someone else."

His eyes dart to the floor, I don't think he understands. I mean he's never been on this side of the situation many times so I get it.

"No." I say. "I haven't been understanding."

"Char-." He starts.

"No." I say. "I need to tell you this, you experienced a traumatic life changing thing and I have not been as understanding as I should be, I should've been better."

"Char you did everything you could do." He chokes. "That doesn't mean you were wrong."

I watch as tears fall out of his eyes silently. Silence fills the room and it's not reflecting silence, it's eery, in every single way you could imagine.

"Charlie you did what you could and I shouldn't of stormed out on you because I was struggling." Nick says. "It was wrong of me."

"But you were afraid and scared and all the above and you didn't know what to do." I say. "We've experienced so many things together, with Ben and this but I had you and you haven't had me, I'm sorry."

Nick doesn't speak when I finish, after a few minutes maybe even seconds he stands. He looks at me, his eyes tearing up. He walks to me, he stands in front of me, and before I know it he has fallen into my arms.

"Nick." I say.

"Just a little longer." He says.

"Fine." I say caving in.

"Do you wanna talk about it now?" I ask after ten minutes.

"Yes." He says.

We sit down, silence fills the air but Nick stops it.

"You know I never got to apologise to his parents?"

"Nick you don't have to." I say. "I know you knew him but that doesn't mean you have to apologise."

"I let him die." He says

"You tried to save him and I watched that happen." I say. "You tried and even though you may not of saved him you actually tried, you tried, that's good enough."

Nicks eyes dart to me and towards the floor.

"I may not know what you might be going through." I say. "But I am going to be understanding."

"Thank you char." Nick smiles.

"Ready to go home?" I ask.

"Let's just wait for mum to get back." He says.

"Good idea." I say.

We stay seated, we cuddle and then we nap and by the end we're just on our phones.

Like when we were teenagers, I guess some things never change.

Authors Note:

Hey everyone!! I hope you guys have had an amazing few days since I last posted, and we have reached 10K!! I am so grateful and thankful for everyone who has read a chapter even if it was only one or all! I would've never thought that I would've come this far in nearly just a year. I thank everyone so much and I will see everyone next time I post. Bye!!