Converse x Vans

Face the Truth

     TW: Mentions of SH
Charlie's POV

The phone hangs up unexpectedly. The last thing I heard Isaac say was that Chase had done it again and that he was asleep at the moment but I know exactly what he was talking about and I know that I need to tell Nick right now.

"Nick!" I call to him.

"Yess?" He says as he comes down the stairs.

I look at him, my eyes tear up in sorrow, like rain pushing to be let to fall in the sky. I let the tears flow down my cheeks and meet at my chin. Nick comes to me and embraces me. I cry in his arms quietly, nothing is said.

Nothing needs to be said.

Nicks POV

I sit Charlie down after a few minutes. I don't know why he is crying but I know it is serious if he actually just started bawling out of nowhere. I really hope he isn't declining, he has worked so hard for Chase not to relapse and he had been doing amazing and I am so proud of him it is unbelievable.

"Baby, what's wrong?" I say.                                                                                                                                         

He looks at me starts to speak. "Isaac called-Chase-relapsed."

My heart stops. My chest feels like it is about to cave in and engulf me with it. I thought he was doing so well and I thought he was doing good and it had been a long time since he had. I cant believe it. I just cant.

"What are we going to do?" I ask quietly.

"Wait until he gets home and then we will talk about it." He says. "We are practically his guardians now so we have to, his mother wont do a thing other than scoff at this point."

Charlies facial expression and tone has now completely changed. He is now blunt. Nothing could be read from his facial expressions', no one could help me decipher this puzzle.

"Are you sure that you want to be apart of this conversation?" I ask, but instantly I know I've fucked up.                                                                                                                                                                             

"Of course." He says bluntly "Don't ever ask that again."

He has never done that before. I stay kneeling in the same position in shock looking at the bench chair he once sat, when I realize he has walked up the stairs and completely left towards our bedroom. Hes going to check Chases room. I ran up the stairs behind him and fine Charlie sitting on Chases bed crying.

"Oh Char." I say quietly.

I practically run up to Charlie and wrap him in my arms.

"I'm supposed to be there for him Nick." He sobs. "I'm his big brother and hes supposed to be better than I was and I cant help him anymore because hes grown away and now hes suffering and struggling and I feel I cant do a single thing about it and it hurts so much and I just cant I just cant Nick, I feel hopeless."

"Charlie you are the purest soul. I know Chase is going through some rough times right now but I know that you are also too, I can see you going through stuff. You are so strong but the strongest person can't do everything alone." I say.

Charlie's eyes look at me, he understands what I am saying but as always he wont let himself rest as he feels that he does not deserve the time to rest but the time to always be helping others twenty four seven. Charlie has no words by this point and I have said what I have needed to and I don't need to say anything else.

Charlie releases me after a few minutes of blissful silence and he doesn't look at me but he looks at the door, he doesn't know what is going to happen next. He goes into the lounge room silently.

"Are you okay my love?" I ask.

He doesn't answer at all. 

"Charlie?"

He finally looks up at me, but this time he looks so drained. Like he has no energy left, like he could wither away and disappear at any second. Charlie has gone through so much but I cant let him do anything with Chase about this because I know he isn't ready for it yet and he isn't ready to confront him about it and he wont be able to handle it. I know it hurts him knowing this but we both know, he cant do anything when he is still hurting. 

Hes not ready.

"Nick, I want to help Chase." Charlie says quietly. "But I am not ready to accept I couldn't help him when he was little, I was supposed to help him and not show him this side of being a person."

"You couldn't of ever known this is what would be the repercussion's of the past until now and you don't know if he does this because of what he has seen or because of an alternate motive." I say. "Don't ever blame yourself for something you cant change." 

I look at Charlie as he takes in my statement, some he seems to agree with and some things he doesn't agree with. The last part he seems to ponder on for a few seconds before he decides to respond to me with a slight tinge of disappointment. "I know but I wish I could have."

I look at Charlie and I feel my body break into a million pieces for him, my eyes start to sting as those emotions for him are released into one big hurrah of tears, they streams down my face into my mouth and everywhere else on my face. I walk to Charlie and I just hug him like before but this time I hug him as if he is going to be taken away from me. I cry and cry and cry and cry as he starts to cry aswell. I can just think if the pain he is going through, I can feel it in every single sob he lets out, every hiccup and every single tear that etches out of his beautiful eyes. I feel his pain, I wan to rip it out of him, I want to take it away. Im powerless, I cant help him this time by myself.

Were a team but I cant stand my boy is a wounded animal waiting for time to heal its wounds. No one can interfere except me I want to help.

I have to help.