Why Don't We
Lisa
The hands of the clock seems like moving so slow. . .
In situation like this it feels like time is irrelevant. It was like Jennie and I are living in our own world. Ironically, we really are staying alone. Together.
I've always day dreaming of being alone with her.
Just us.
No cameras, no paparazzis, no media, no news headlines, no judgmental eyes, none. Just us.
I just didn't imagine it will come true. And I didn't imagine I will be stock with her on an island, away from everything.
Accidents really happen the least we expect it. That time when I look at her, all I see was a scared girl. And all I wanted to do is to protect her with all my might. I hold her tight just as how she clung to me for her dear life. The look in her eyes tells me that I must protect this girl, and I don't wanna see her scared anymore.
I wanted to see a smiling Jennie, with her gummy like smile that can put everyone's bad day into good. Her wonderful laughs and giggle that can lighten up your mood in an instant. And I told myself that I still wanted to witness those things. I wanted to feel her warmth once again.
I wanted to feel her love, and give my love.
I want her back.
Rosie was right. I deserve to be happy, to love and to be love. And there's only one person that I wanted to love. It's her.
Jennie Ruby Jane Kim.
There's this saying that the one who hurts you the most, is the one that can heal you too.
And right now I won't deny to myself again that I had moved on. Because clearly I did not. And clearly I still love her with all my heart.
It only is 8 letters, but I was afraid to say it before. Because I am afraid. Afraid of myself. Afraid that there will be nothing left to me.
But as I close my eyes, there is only one name in my mind. And when I open it again her face is what welcomes me. Even in dreams she's still there.
I don't want to torture myself anymore. I wanted to love again, to love her again. And this time I'm betting all myself again.
~
It's been a day since we arrived in this island. We manage to build our shelter for the night with the use of scrap woods and branches. Walls and roof made of coconut leaves and banana. Its not much but enough to make shade for us from the heat and cold. We don't have foods with us so I decided to roam around the forest to find something to fill our stomachs. I can't let us starve here.
Jennie doesn't talk much. She felt sorry for not listening to us. She feels like its her fault why we are stock here. She is not tho. No one wanted that to happen. And I made sure she felt that way. But still the kitten remained silent. Her face still show regret.
As I walk in the forest, I kept myself alert for anything as I look for something to eat. But the scaredy kitten being her stubborn herself kept following me when I told her to just stay in our shade. She just won't listen. I sighed.
"Ouch, ouch." Jennie complained for the hundred time. "How much longer Lisa?" I look back at the kitten behind me as her head move around, trying to be vigilant. I took the time to check her from her to toe. Her state right now is far from her usual self. Her hair is di-shelve, her chubby cheeks with muds, her flowery dress with mud also, also some parts are torn, her skin with few cuts and leaves. Her feet bare. Who would've thought that the famous Jennie would look like this? A mess. But nevertheless, beautiful. Perfectly beautiful. Her fans must be envious right now. I got the chance to witness this side of her.
