Chapter Twenty-seven
"So let me get this straight," Jennie says, "your favourite show is one about teenage girls swimming."
"Uh-huh."
"And it's not even live action, so it's not like your excuse can be that they look hot. They're cartoon."
"Well it's anime."
"You're weird," Jennie replies simply, "but hey, you like what you like."
"You should watch it," Lisa says, rubbing her eyes gently.
"What's it called?"
"Waves," Lisa's reply is muffled by a yawn.
"And it's about swimming?"
"It's a sports anime."
"What the hell are you getting me into Lili?"
"I think you'll like it."
"You also thought I'd like pecan ice cream," Jennie says teasingly.
The reminder is enough to make Lisa's stomach drop and she has to bite her tongue to stop herself from apologising repeatedly yet again, she's pretty sure Jennie is sick of hearing her say sorry by now.
"You're never going to let me forget that, are you?"
"Well no, because if you forget then you might nearly kill me again."
Lisa remains silent for a few moments before giving in.
"Sorry," she says quietly.
"I've told you, you don't have to apologise anymore," Jennie tells Lisa.
"I know, but I still feel like I have to."
For a moment Jennie doesn't reply, and then Lisa can hear her sigh through the phone.
"You need to stop apologising for things that aren't your fault," Jennie says and Lisa gets the feeling that Jennie isn't just talking about the ice cream incident, "nobody blames you."
"I still feel bad."
"Well stop. I bet your inner peacock doesn't feel bad about that."
Lisa forces herself to let out a laugh but she doesn't mean it and she can tell that that fact is obvious.
"Seriously Lisa," Jennie says, "you're an amazing person and you need to realise that. So stop blaming yourself for things that you have no control over, stop telling yourself that what my bitches ex-friends say about you defines who you are and stop beating yourself up about the fact that you didn't know I had an allergy, there was no reason for you to know, I should have told you, so technically it's my fault. I'm over it, you should be too."
Lisa can sense that the conversation is straying into dangerous waters and into a place she really does not want to go. Lisa has noticed that recently Jennie has been trying to get Lisa to talk about her feelings more. Of course Jennie is not the first person to try, but he is the first person that Lisa has actually considered going along with. But not tonight, it's not the right time. Not that Lisa knows when that will ever be.
"Okay, okay," Lisa replies, desperate to deflect the attention away from her, "so you don't like coffee unless you're hung-over, you're desperately obsessed with music and you're a closet directioner. What else should I add to my list of Jennie Kim facts?"
"I still find it weird that you have a list."
"Yeah right, you secretly love it, just admit it."
"You're right, I do, I'm too self-centred and I adore the fact that you have a list about me."
