Stargazing ✰

Chapter 8.5

Writer's note: 
I'm back! I even woke up early to load up this chapter! Man, I swear, I wrote so much in France, it will be wild. 
For those who read this, thank you so much, you make my world so much better :)

"Sure, let's go." Hawk grabbed my hand, he interlocked his fingers with mine. I couldn't see his face, but I was sure he was blushing.

"I like the way your hand fits in mine." he mumbled.

I blushed slightly, lowered my gaze, and softly murmured, "Oh, um, thank you." 

Hawk was always so sweet when we were together. He always took care of me and always made sure I was having fun. 

He led us to the park. We took place on a bench where we could see the stars the best. "This is such a good spot, the stars are beautiful from here." Hawk gasped. I stared at the sky, "Yeah, you're right."

Hawk moved closer to me and put his arm around me. My face became red again and I didn't know what to say. Slowly, I felt butterflies crawling in my stomach for the first time in my life. With each passing second of us cuddling there, my mind raced with a thousand thoughts; Did I catch feelings for Hawk? Does he like me? How could anyone like me? No, I'm sure he's just being nice. Although I somewhat hoped he did like me. 

I fully leaned in his embrace, my heart racing like a rollercoaster. We didn't say anything, we just enjoyed the moment and the view. The city lights danced in the night sky. I felt like stargazing had never felt this enchanting before. 

We sat there for a while, all quiet, staying in his arms to stay warm. The longer we sat there, the colder it became. 

Suddenly Hawk turned to me, "You know Lily," he started, "there's something I've been wanting to tell you for a while now." he stopped and took a big breath in and out. "I- uh, I..." he stopped again and realized something, "Lily, you're shivering."

I was still in a trance, listening to what he had to say, "Oh, yeah, it's getting a little cold." I admitted. I still waited for him to finish his sentence, but he didn't.

"Let's go to the hotel, you can warm up there." he stood up and we left the park. 

I wanted to know what he wanted to tell me, but I was scared. My mind filled itself with 'overthinking' thoughts. What if it was something bad? Did I do something wrong?

He kept silent and looked away the whole way back. 

We saw Ojee and Nero in the hall. They had waited for us the whole time just to know if we were safe. "God. Next time we'll all join you okay?" Nero promised. 

I said goodnight to everyone, but Hawk didn't respond. He looked down at his feet. 

I went to my room, my mind still racing with unhappy thoughts. I quickly put my pj's on and plopped in my bed. I was tired, but my mind wasn't. I knew I was an overthinker, but this time it was surely worse. I overthought every moment I had spent with Hawk. From the first day, I met him, all our stargazing nights, the hike, and this day. Did I do something wrong? I  was sure I did. Then my mind went over to my feelings for him. I was almost sure I liked him. Fuck... I messed it up.

I begged my mind to stop but it didn't. 

Writer's note: 
It's a short one, I'm sorry :( but I had to finish chapter 8 once. Honestly, this part just hurt. Poor Lily and poor Hawk. And poor Hawk in the next chapter ;-; my man is gonna get hurt so much. But spoiler: happy ending for him :)
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