Stargazing ✰

Chapter 10.2

The shopping was an enjoyable and unique experience. It was much more fun than I expected it to be. Maybe it was because Frana was here with me. I wouldn't go shopping alone, it wasn't meant for me. I always buy my clothes online.

We went into some big and known stores according to Frana. I had never heard of or been in any of them. It was still early in the day, so it wasn't busy yet. The streets were calm, a few taxis rode around, but no one could be seen.

In the shops itself, it was rather crowded. It seemed like shopping in the morning was a thing. Frana and I went fast through the racks, which I didn't mind. Every time Frana saw something nice or cute, she grabbed it and excitedly showed it to me, like it was the best clothing she had ever seen. All I could do was nod and agree with her. Then she set off to the fitting rooms.

This went on for a while, and then she grabbed my hand, "Let's go find something for you." I protested, but she managed to drag me with her.

She took something off the racks, "Oeee! You have to try this on!" she beamed. It was a short crop top, in my least favorite color, pink. I vigorously shook my head, "That's way too short." I was more of a hoodie or oversized shirt person.

"C'mon, just try it on. I'm sure you'll like it." And she was correct. I liked it once I had it on, but it looked weird. This wasn't me. I had never worn anything like this.

"It's perfect!" Frana sparkled.

"No no no, it's not." I protested again. Seeing myself in something short like this made me feel uneasy. All I wanted was to take it off - even though I liked it - and have my hoodie cover my skin.

"But it is. It's a little different than your style, but a little change won't hurt." Frana was right once again, but I hated to admit it.

"I'll go find you cute shorts. Stay here." she went back to the racks.

While I was waiting - which felt like an eternity - my mind raced through the last few days. From the stargazing night where Hawk wanted to tell me something, the night he gave me butterflies, to last night with Samm. So many things had happened already.
I surely had to talk about it with Frana later, she'd be the one to help me with my feelings for Hawk and Samm. She was a romance expert after all.

I looked at myself one more time in the mirror. No. This wasn't me at all. I wanted to take it off when Frana returned, "I'm back! Look how cute this is." She passed me a pair of jeans, which were, yes, very short, and with multiple holes in them.

"This is even worse." I thought. I tried it on with a lot of reluctance. It fitted perfectly with the pink top, but it made me feel more uneasy.

"You look gorgeous in this." Frana complimented me. She looked at me like I was a celebrity she had to dress.

I bit my lip, "Frana, this isn't me." I shuffled unhappily around in the fitting room.

"Maybe not, it's a different you." And God she was right again. A little change, a different me, couldn't be bad right? I just had to get used to it. "Yeah, you're right. I'll go with it." I admitted with a sigh.

Frana did a little "yay" and jumped in the air, "Hawk is going to love it. Or Samm." She winked at me and left the fitting room in a rush.

"Wha-" My cheeks flushed with embarrassment and covered my face. "Would they like it? No, don't think about that."

I took my new clothes off and put my hoodie back on. It was comfortable and warm. It didn't show any skin, which made me feel better. I found my friend looking at the shoes and then we paid for our clothes and left the store.

We sat at a cafe after we had lunch. I had Thai Tea, which was one of the best Boba Tea flavors and Frana had a regular coffee. Again, the cafe wasn't crowded at all.

"Should I tell her about Samm and Hawk? Maybe it's not a good idea. But she could help me..."

Frana looked at me questioningly, "What are you thinking about?"

I snapped out of my thoughts and sighed. Now I had to tell her. "I've been meaning to ask you for help, about..." I searched for the proper word, "... boys."

"Is it about Samm? Did that kiss make you fall for him?" Frana lightened up by the idea of it.

"No. Yes. Maybe. I don't know! That's why I wanted to ask you for your help or advice. But it's also about Hawk..." I was hopeless.

She put both her hands on the table and glanced at me with an excited look on her face, "Tell me about everything."

I told her about the first time Hawk had given me butterflies, the day I spent with Kai and his friends, the TOD kiss, and the talk with Samm this morning. She listened without disturbing me.

"So you're telling me you love two boys? Both Hawk and Samm?" she questioned when I was done talking.

Her question made me think for a second, "Do I love them? Or do I only like them?" I threw my hands in the air and sighed, "I don't know. I don't know how I feel about them." I was never going to figure this out.

"Lily, I can't help you with your feelings for them, but think about it, you've known Samm for only a few days right?"

I nodded hesitantly. Only three days, to be exact.

"Do you know him well?" she wondered.

I shook my head. I didn't know anything about him.

"Then first get to know him a little better, spend some time with him. It'll help how you feel about him."

And yes, again, she was right. How could I have feelings for someone I barely knew?

"Besides, I'm 100% sure Hawk is onto you." she smiled. It reminded me of the day we had the pool party. She had said the same thing. "Yeah, you said that a while ago too," I mumbled.

"Look, spent some time with both the boys. It'll help you out more than sitting here and keep thinking about it. You'll figure it out, I'm sure of it."

"I will. Actuallty, I was going stargazing with Hawk later today, like we always do." I had almost forgotten it, but Hawk had been watching the stars with me every night since I had arrived. And one night he had prepared our gazing spot into cozy blankets. Thinking about it made me smile a little, I loved that night.

"And Samm gave you his number? He surely wants you to text him, so go for it."

I nodded and took my phone and the little paper out. I put his number in my contacts and texted him:

Samm

Hi, Lily here :) ~ 4:23 PM

Hi there, everything alright? ~ 4:23 PM

Yeah, I just wanted to say hi. Now you
have my number too. ~ 4:24 PM

I quickly placed my phone away, "That's done." I smiled at Frana.

Writer's note:
My chapters keep getting longer lmao.
In this chapter, I felt along with Lily when she was shopping, and I think a lot of people do. Body dysphoria is an awful thing to experience.
I hope you liked this chapter since it's my least favorite one. (Also poor Frana, my Grammarly autocorrected her multiple times to "Frank" or "France" :sob: )
Also, I've been rewriting the first few parts of the story, so make sure to check them out as they change the story a bit!

My links:
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Stay safe and good luck to those who start school again!
Ty for reading <3