Meeting Marshall Mathers: The Later Years

Friend or Foe?

The morning was silent between myself and Marshall as we had eaten breakfast separately and gotten ready separately only to come together to take a ride in the car to the private clinic. He drove in silence as I gazed emptily out of the window, watching the world fly past in a dizzying blur. I was more focusing on the blood I'd woken up to in my pad this morning, there was too much to say it was a light bleed and to little to class it as a heavy bleed. I was sat with my arms folded against my stomach that was churning with nerves. It wasn't just churning, it was in knots. In my mind I was adamant I'd lost this baby but in my heart I couldn't feel a loss nor could I feel grievance. My heart didn't know what to feel, or believe.
Before we went into the scan Marshall attempted to hold my hand, but I pulled away, I didn't need to hold his hand now, I needed it last night, I needed it this morning. After going through the same usual questions the scan got underway. I couldn't bare to look up at the screen ahead of us so instead I stared at the ceiling, feeling so incredibly empty,

"Oh god" I broke down in tears as the sound of a heartbeat filled the room,

"So as I'm sure you both can hear... baby has a strong little heartbeat"

"Man thank god" Marshall exhaled,

"And by the look of things I would date you at 7 weeks and 5 days, all seems to be progressing well. I'll get a photo for you both to take home"

"Thank you" I was grateful of the tissues the sonographer handed to me, I wiped my face and then the gel off my stomach,

"And here's your photos, I've taken multiple"

"So what's with the bleeding?" Marshall stood to his feet,

"Well I can't see anything concerning in or around the uterus, believe it or not a heavy bleed can be quite common in early pregnancy I would recommend that your wife rests. The bleeding should subside within a day or two, however if it continues or gets heavier then I would recommend contacting your doctor"

"I will. But don't you think it's bizarre? I mean where would it be coming from" I was baffled,

"I can't make assumptions I'm afraid, all I can go off is what I've picked up on the scan and I can confirm the pregnancy is live and viable"

"That's good enough for us, thanks doc" Marshall rushed us out.

Once back at the car we both stared at the photos, in awe of our very much alive little bean,

"So we gonna talk now, or?" Marshall stared at me,

"Don't look at me like that"

"Like what?"

"Like I'm the one in the wrong, like it's my fault we haven't spoken all morning"

"You've avoided me like the plague so how am I supposed to move to you when you ain't even around?"

"I needed you last night"

"You told me to give you some space!"

"When I thought I was losing our baby? Seriously?"

"Fuck, Jodie you know I can't speak to you when you're in that mindset, you'll of started bitchin' out on me and the last thing I wanted was to cause you more stress to inflict on me"