The Last Rule

Chapter 10 - Want

Days have passed and my life was literally filled with books, Netflix, and basketball. Naka-ilang games na rin sila Papa, and so far, wala pa silang talo. They are really doing great, even without Kuya Kriz. Pinalitan lang siya ni Dos, and tbh, he's keeping up pretty well. 

Just like always, after the game, they'd usually come over to our house to celebrate. Pero ngayon, nabawasan na ang practice days nila, hindi na kagaya dati na halos araw-araw. Katatapos lang ng game, pero wala pang player na dumiretso dito. May pupuntahan kasi kami.

Kaya pinatawag si Papa sa mansiyon last time to invite us for dinner sa mansiyon. They summoned him just to invite us. Seriously, they didn't even bother to come here themselves. Hello? Puwede namang tawag lang. Pero hindi, pina-punta pa talaga si Papa. Kahit na hindi super layo ng mansion from here, the ride is still 30 minutes. Hindi din naman malapit.

I don't hate them. Pero ang annoying lang, they never stepped foot sa bahay namin. They never even saw it. Never. Hindi nila naisip, kahit sandali lang, na puntahan ang barangay namin para makita  kung saan kami nakatira. They never supported our lifestyle, for them, it's too simple for their fancy and luxurious name.

"Son, you really should move out," my Grandpa said while kumakain kami ng dinner in their mansion. We were at this huge dining table with golden cutlery, shining utensils, fancy Western food, and of course, their very own Martin Wine.

"Dad, we already talked about this," Papa said in his usual bored tone while cutting his steak. He said it na parang sawang-sawa na dahil lagi nilang pinag-uusapan.

"And I never agreed," Lolo said in a serious tone, glaring at Dad. He wanted to add more but didn't, kasi... nasa harap kami ng hapag. Si Lolo ang nasa kabisera ng malawak nilang dining. Ang nasa kaliwa niya ay si Lola, katabi ko si Lola at ang nasa kabila ko naman ay si Kuya Calli. Ang nasa kanan naman ni Lolo ay si Papa katabi si Mama, katapat ko si Mama at ang nasa katabi ni Mama ay si Kuya Astro at ang katabi ni Kuya Astro ay ang pinagmanahan niya ng ugali, ang bunsong kapatid ni Papa na si Tito Dexter.

My Lola tried to change the topic by asking about studies. I thought maybe matutuwa sila since kami tatlo ay academically achievers.

"There are so many better universities than the State University you're in, Callisto. Better facilities, better faculties, better labs," Lolo said, turning the spotlight to my eldest brother. I saw how Kuya Cali stared at his food, parang nawalan na ng gana sa pagkain.

"I'm fine with Central Luzon State University, Lo. Mataas po ang passing rate nila sa Medicine," Kuya Calli said respectfully, parang ayaw galitin si Lolo.

"But there are much better ones with higher passing rates, Apo. I'm sure kaya kang pag-aralin ng Daddy mo sa Harvard or Oxford. Kung ayaw mong mangibang-bansa, kahit UP o Ateneo, if your Dad won't support you, I will," Lolo added. I can't imagine myself studying on those schools he mentioned. Does he want us to study in those? Hell, No!

"Dad, sila ang namili ng university nila. Doon ako sa gusto nila," Dad said, trying to defend Kuya Calli or himself, probably.

"But that's not what I want," Lolo said again, parang siya naman ang mag-aaral. Gusto niya pala doon, bakit hindinalang siya? I swear I want to role my eyes so bad pero I tried not to.

"Dad, hindi naman ikaw ang mag-aaral eh," Tito Dex finally spoke up. Trying to really save Callisto this time. Thank God.

"Whatever. I just want what's best for him, para magkaroon siya ng pangalan sa pipiliin niyang profession."

"I can still make a name kahit sa CLSU ako magtatapos, Lolo. And I will make sure I will make you proud," Kuya Calli said seriously while meeting Lolo's gaze, fearless. Nakaka-inspire, I have to admit.

"Manang-mana ka talaga sa Daddy mo. How about you, Astro? Your university is way lower than your brother's. How about UST?" He said turning the spotlight to my other brother now. Now I feel nervous, I know i'm next, mas maliit pa naman ang University ko compared to theirs.

Hindi kagaya ni Kuya Calli, sumandal si Kuya Astro sa inuupuan niya at naka-smirk na tinignan si Lolo.

"Lo, I can make you proud kahit saan ako mag-aral," he said confidently. Lolo and the others laughed.

"Dexter, layuan mo ang pamangkin mo," Lolo chuckled. Manang-mana talaga kay Tito Dex, always the mayabang one.

"And you, Solana..." here we go. "Why Psychology?"

"I want to be a Psychiatrist, I want to be in the Medical Field, just like Kuya Calli, Lolo," I said, focusing on my plate. Hindi ko kayang maging overconfident like Kuya Astro. I just stared at my plate like a scared cat.

"You can't follow the same profession as your brother, hija. He will be the best in his field soon, you can't just... follow. Once na nagka-hospital siya, he will be the chairman, vice ka lang. Just like your Kuya Astro, he'll have his own real estate company. Dapat ikaw din, mayroon kang sarili. Magiging anino ka lang ng Kuya mo." Lolo said softer, but still... painful, and every word is adding up to the pressure that's already choking me. Can't we just be happy?

"Oh my Diego, don't be too hard on our sweetheart, she's still young," Lola said, patting my back. I felt a little better. I looked around at everyone else, and they all smiled, except Lolo.

"Yeah right. You're still young. Psychology is a good pre-law course. Tama. But I suggest business, dahil kayong tatlo lang ang apo ko at tumatanda na kami. your Tito Dexter doesn't even have a girlfriend, while Tita Dennisse is very disappointing. Married a barren. I want you to reign in me and your father's industry," Lolo said, tone of finality.

"Dad, it's not your life, it's hers. Kaya stop dictating," Tito Dex said again. As always. Maybe because he knows how it feels. Maybe because being a member of this family is really suffocating.

"Anyways, speaking of business... Darren, your sister Dennisse is CEO of the wine company in Europe, and your brother Dexter here needs to leave the country to find a partner. He's too lonely to take care of  the company," Lolo said.

"Dad, I'm single but not lonely," Tito Dex defended himself.

"You need to take over your brother's responsibility. You need to be CEO so sooner or later I can give you my shares, and you'll be chairman of the entire chain. You need to be ready. I'm not getting any younger, son. I'm getting tired. And your siblings didn't want it, so it has to be you, especially since you're the eldest."

"Just like Dex and Dennisse, I don't want to either," Papa said, but we all knew he had no choice. Once he's chairman, our lives will change for sure.

"I have responsibilities in our municipality," Papa said, he's talking about him being a councilor. But i'm sure it's not just about that. Hindi namin kayang iwan ang buhay na nakasanayan namin, our house, our friends, the team. But we all knew na walang pakialam si Lolo dahil ang Company lang ang iniisip niya. We all knew the truth. Life won't wait.

"And what about your responsibilities to this family?" Lolo asked, clearly not pleased. "Walang mabuting naidudulot sa'yo ang basketball na 'yan, Darren."

I could feel the weight of Lolo's expectations. He's one of the richest, most respected CEOs in the country. And now, he's looking at us, the next generation, hoping we'll be perfect.

I stared at my plate, poking at the food without really tasting it. Ang daming bagay sa utak ko ngayon, and it's not even about the food. Lolo's words kept echoing, "Dapat ikaw din, mayroon kang sarili..." Parang chains sa isip ko, sobrang bigat. 

I poked at my food again, mas mabagal ngayon. Lahat ng mata naka-focus sa amin, pero parang I'm invisible. Parang kahit anong sabihin namin, hindi niya maiintindihan kung bakit hindi namin gusto ang gusto niya. I wanted to cry, pero I swallowed it down.

"Sweetheart, finish your food." Lola's gentle voice tried to reach me, but I felt nothing. I nodded mechanically and took a bite. 

I love my family, pero why does love feel like this pressure? 

I looked around at Kuya Calli, Kuya Astro, Dad, Tito Dex, and each of them carrying their own weight. Parang lahat kami trapped sa expectations ni Lolo na parang walang katapusan. I felt small, lost, and scared.