"I'm just dumb, there isn't any helping me, Sodes."
I avoided main streets to get home. Socs would drive around main streets to cause trouble, gangs would fight, and people would try to walk their drunken selves from bar to bar. They were a mess. Side streets were safer.
Although it took longer to get home, I made it back safe, that's what matters. I looked through the window. I saw the entire Curtis family in the living room, except for Ponyboy. He's probably asleep for school.
I just realized how chaotic these few days have been. These days have been longer than usual. So much has happened, it's weird to think about.
I went to the door and opened it. The first to jump up was Sodapop. He practically ran to me and hugged me tight. I hugged him back.
Everything was coming back again. The last time I talked to my mom was when she left for Chicago, when she told me that the Curtis' would always be here for me, and they were.
She never made it. She thought she would be able to help us get our lives back together, but she can't now.
My dad probably doesn't even know yet. He's probably too busy. I haven't talked to him in ages. What if he's gone too?
I tried not to think about it. It takes a long time for these things to get through. He can be dead or dying and I might not know for weeks. My mom is dead and he might not know for weeks.
The letter I had to give to Mrs. Curtis was still in my room. I thought I wouldn't have to give it to her, but I will, just not yet.
Mrs. Curtis walked over to me and took a turn to hug me tight. I closed my eyes in an effort to keep tears from coming out.
"Oh, hun..." She said, hugging me tight. "I was so worried."
I felt bad for worrying her because I know she cares about me, I just couldn't help it. I wasn't thinking clearly and I haven't been for days.
I felt weak, but I don't know why.
After we broke away from the hug, Soda came over to me and slowly brought me to the couch. He must've noticed how weak I looked. I felt a little dizzy as well. Soda sat down next to me and I leaned on him. He hugged me.
Soon, everyone left the room to go to bed, Soda and I stayed, watching TV. I was tired, but comfortable so I didn't want to get up.
"Is everything okay?" He asked me suddenly
"Yeah, all okay." I replied, still watching the TV. Some random movie was on, it was more interesting than the beach movies.
"Then what's this?" He asked, pulling out a folded sheet of paper and handing it to me. I looked at him, before I opened it to see what it was.
I realized it was the note I hid under my pillow, saying I was running away to go to Chicago. I stayed silent. What am I supposed to tell him?
"Were ya really gonna go through with this?" He asked.
"I was...but that changed." I said quietly.
"Elle, why? Are you not happy here? Am I doing something wrong...?" His voice seemed to break when he was asking that last question.
"No, it's not you." I was taken aback. "Did I do something to make you think that?" I asked, feeling pretty shitty.
"No...but why?" He asked hesitantly.
"To get away from the Socs, to be with my mom again, school..." I trailed off.
"What about it?" He asked.
"You know that I don't like school and everything." He wasn't buying what I was selling.
"It's not that. Is someone bullying you?" He asked, looking slightly angry.
"No." I quickly dismissed him.
"Then what is it?" He asked, frustration in his voice. Although I knew it was coming from how much he cared about me. I still didn't want to tell him though, especially since someone could walk right in and hear us.
"Can you tell me, please?" He asked. I was scared to tell him.
"Please." He begged.
I sighed, grabbing the letter I was supposed to give to Mrs. Curtis and I gave it to him. I couldn't look at him while he read it, so I looked away.
"Elle, why didn't ya say somethin'? I could've helped." He said. I shrugged.
"I'm just dumb, there isn't any helping me, Sodes." I said.
"Elle, ya don't have to hide it. You're not dumb, you just struggle, and that's okay." He said.
"You're not dumb either." I said. He gave me a look.
"Elle, we aren't having this conversation right now." He said. He hated when I brought it up, but I can't let go of the fact that he thinks so lowly of himself.
"When are we? Ya keep putting it off...and I just told you everything." I argued. I was afraid he was going to go so far down, no one would save him.
"Just drop it." He snapped, which shocked me, because he doesn't usually snap at people he cares about. I stopped talking. I was afraid to speak again. He must've been upset about something.
"Soda, how 'bout ya take some time alone, you seem tired and upset...." I did my best to sound calm and collected so he wouldn't get mad.
He nodded, standing up and leaving the room, leaving me there alone with my thoughts. I don't know what's bothering him, but it must be big if he snapped at me that quickly. Even bigger if he left that easily after I told him to. It worried me a bit, but I'm going to leave it alone for the night. I can't really do much now anyway, and I still have school in the morning.
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Published March 8th 6:55 PM EST
Words: 957
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Evermore | Sodapop Love Story | The Outsiders
Fanfiction"Elle, why? Are you not happy here? Am I doing something wrong...?" His voice seemed to break when he was asking that last question. "No, it's not you." I was taken aback. "Did I do something to make you think that?" I asked, feeling pretty shitty. ...
