Steph brother

Where is my mind?

5 months later

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"Bill why are you like this?" I ask tears rolling down my face while my hands are holding my pregnant belly. "Because you're always tired or not feeling well. I just wanna go out and do things with you!!" He yells at me. "But Bill my morning sickness and-" "I don't care y/n! Can't you just think about how it felt for me hearing you're pregnant of my brothers baby?" He yells at me. He right, He's so right. It's way harder for him then for me, I should've taken care of him, I should've comforted him. How can I be so stupid. "Bill I'm sorry, you're right. I've been so selfish lately" I say my head watching my feet. He sighs and walks away. "Bill wait" I say he doesn't listen he slams my bedrooms door shut and I hear him walk down the stairs.

I hear the front door shut and I look out the window. I see Bill walk away and light a cigarette. He'll be back. "Y/n?" I hear someone say and knocking on the door. I whipe a tear from my face "mhm yea?" "Can I come in" "yea come in" I say. Tom opens the door and closes it behind him. He sits down next to me on the bed and looks at his lap. "It's all my fault, I'm so sorry" he says. I put my hand on his shoulder "it's okay." I say. He shakes his head.

"No it's not, Bill is making himself the victim while you are" I look at him. "Am I tough?" I ask. "Yea, you couldn't shut up about how guilty you felt for him, you took care of him when he was tired, sad or hungry. And sure he was sad for what I did but YOU are the one who was raped and YOU are the one carrying the baby" he says.

Goddammit he's right, Bill is the selfish one not me. "You're right" I say. He gives me a tight hug and I hug him back.

Tom's POV

I can't believe Bill could be so selfish. It's all my fault I know that but he is her boyfriend. He should take care of her at all costs.

I give her a tight hug feeling her pregnant belly pressing against mine. "I'm so so so so so so so sorry y/n" I say, I can't believe I did this to her. I was high and drunk but that doesn't make it any better. "It's okay Tom" she says. We pull away and I wipe a tear from her cheek. My feelings for her never left and I can't stop loving her. I put my hand on her belly.

Y/n's POV

"What are we gonna name her?" He asks his warm big hand on my belly. "What about... Lilly?" I ask. I've always liked the name Lilly.
A big smile spread across his face "I love that" he says. I've thought about it and since I'm carrying this baby for like 5 months already, I started to really love her. It's probably mom instinct or something. But I'm making her, I already got over that raping thing, I mean it happened, okay life goes on.

I love Tom, not the way I love Bill. But he's just so sweet. I hope the baby will be just like him. Not the raping part, or the hooker part, but the rest is just perfect. "Tom" "yea?" "I love you" I say. His eyes widen in happy surprise "I love you too" he says, wrapping his arms around me tightly. I know this sounds weird but love does not always mean the same thing.

Tom suddenly pulls back. "Was that you?" He asks. "Was what?" I ask. His eyes grow wide again "the baby just kicked me" he says. "Good then I don't have to do it" I say making him laugh. I laugh too and put my hand on my belly feeling another kick. "You're right" I look up at him, he smiles. "Should I call Bill?" He asks. I shrug "I'm not sure if he's in the mood now" I say. "You call him" he says. I grab my phone and call him.

Bill's POV

The air is cold and the view is pretty. I look over the edge of the roof to the ground. That's a long way down. I'm gonna jump, I love y/n and Tom and Arthur and mom but I can't do this anymore. This baby is about to get born and
Y/n is gonna spend her time with Tom and the baby. I bet they'll fall in love and forget me. I have to see my girlfriend raise a baby that isn't mine. Even thinking about it hurts my heart. I was really selfish when I was fighting with her but my pain is turning into anger. I'm hurting the people I love the most and I need to stop.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes. The second I wanna let myself fall my phone rings. My shaky hand reaches in my pocket grabbing my phone. I flip it open seeing who called me 'y/n❤️' that's how she stands in my phone. I click the button to pick up and press it tight to my ear trying to keep my hand from shaking. "H-hello?" I say my voice shaking even more then my hand. The dried up tears stick in my skin as I blink a few away.

"Hey Billy." She says. Her voice and my nickname makes more tears form in my eyes and roll down my cheeks. "H-hey baby" I say trying not to sound like I'm crying. "Are you okay? You sound bad" I close my eyes and I can just see her concerned face. "I-I'm find It's just cold" I say still shaking. "Please come home, I'm so sorry for what happened but I need to tell you something" She says. I sigh and close my eyes tears falling trough my eyelashes. "I'm on my way" I say. "Okay I love you" she says. "I.. I love you too" I say. She hangs up the phone and I close it and put it in my pocket.

My eyelashes stick together of the tears. I whipe my face with my sleeve and step away from the edge. I can't believe I'm like this, she's so sweet and pretty and loyal. How could I even think that she would choose Tom over me.

Where is my mind?

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