Just Breathe (IN EDITING)

Fall

The song I've attached is very pretty for the chapter as well as just pretty in general

I stayed in his room longer than I really should have. I don't know why I stayed so long, I guess I was maybe hoping he would come back. I knew he wouldn't though, he's not the kind to come back. It always hurt when he didn't come back after being angry, even if his anger isn't directed towards me which it rarely is it still does something to my heart, makes it feel a little bit heavier than it should.

I remember when his parents announced that they were getting divorced. He took off and ran all the way to my house over a mile away in the pouring rain. It was so dark outside and he just looked so broken, so scared. I think it was the first time I had ever seen him so vulnerable.

I knew what he wanted, he wanted me to sit with him, shit talking his parents while we played video game after video game. He wanted us to drown our bodies with the kind of liquor that made your eyes sting and your throat burn. He wanted us to go out late with our fake Id's and have sex with every girl who came our way.

That's what he wanted but that's not what I did, instead I sat him down in my bedroom, ignoring the defeat in his eyes and the way he shivered from either devastation or lack of heat and I told him to go home, I tried to explain that he needed to talk with his parents.

I could see the betrayal in his face even in the darkness of my bedroom. He did the same thing he did a mere hour ago, he left. He stormed out of my house started running, and didn't stop. Not a single person heard from him for a few days. I blamed myself and that was one of the most painful times of my life.

But he's my best friend, and even if he made my heart heavy with his anger he made it a million times lighter every time he smiled, or laughed, or even looked at me. It made my heart feel so light it fluttered like a bird bouncing against my rib cage every time our eyes meant.

But that's not how it felt when he yelled at me to Shut-up. I know he was just lashing out, I mean I hadn't delivered the easiest of news but still. I watched him storm out and I could see it in his eyes how deeply disturbed he was.

There was anger seeping from his swift movements, even the way he slammed the door hard enough to make the people in the next dorm groan and making a painting flutter from the wall.

It was my favorite one he had done, an abstract of him and I on his eighteenth birthday, I knew the photograph he based his brush strokes from. A quick snap shot his mum had taken when we were stepping from a roller coaster, our hair messed up and our faces bright. When I had bent down to pick it up from the ground it tore slightly, getting stuck under one of the many books littering the floor. I let out a slight gasp biting my tongue to stop myself from screaming with frustration.

I knew he still loved Lilah, or at least I had my suspicions. This just confirmed it. Thinking about the anger in his tone as he spoke to me made my eyes heat up. I palmed at my eyes angrily. Stopping the tears which had managed to form from soaking my cheeks, hoping my face won't become blotchy in case of the slim chance of Evan returning.

I will NOT cry over something so small, my other friends tell me to shut-up all the time but this just hurt and I hate it. Come on Phil get yourself together.

I allowed myself to rest my head on his pillow, suddenly feeling so heavy, so tired. I sunk further into his small and heavenly bed, wrapping myself in the dark comforter. It smelt like him, he has smelt the same since the day we first met.

It was when we were younger, I had just turned 16 and my friends brought me to a house party. Of course I didn't really want to drink but they were all expecting me to so I did. I wasn't the best at not giving into peer pressure quite apparently.