Just Breathe (IN EDITING)

Thoughts

Phil p.o.v

The darkness was over whelming, consuming me

I don't want this, I don't want to be swallowed by the darkness again

I could feel myself screaming, the pain ringing in my ears

The screaming was so loud, drowning out everything

I can feel my throat burning and my eyes watering

But I'm so scared so very scared, I can't stop screaming

I began to run, run away from the blackness that was trying to take me over again.
I can't let it consume me.

I'm sprinting as fast as I can down the hallway, trying with every ounce of my being to escape the darkness that relentlessly attempts to destroy what I've become.

It's catching up to me, I can feel it. I can feel the pain that is going to swallow me whole. It's coming for me, there is no escaping it this time. But I keep running.

The corridor I'm running down is long, I can't see anything except my bare feet pounding on the non existent ground in front of me.

I can feel the darkness speeding up around me, the quiet of it drowning out my constant screams of terror

Suddenly I can see Evan, I can see his honey brown hair and welcoming smile at the end of the corridor. He's calling to me, waiting for me to escape the darkness.

I just have to make it to him and I can stop screaming, I just have to wrap myself in his arms and the darkness won't be able to get me. I can make it I'm almost there.

I run faster, moving my legs with so much force it feels as if they will collapse if I don't stop soon, it's okay I'm almost there, I'm going to make it to him.

Suddenly Evan's warm smile twists into a morbid grimace. Screeches of terror sounding from his unmoving form. I stop running and I just stare. Stare at the pain in his glowing eyes.

I can feel the cold grasp of darkness make its way around my body, consuming me, turning me into nothing while I stand there frozen staring at the twisted form that once appeared to be my best friend

Within seconds I'm surrounded and everything goes black. Evans petrified features disappearing all together.

I bolt up in bed, sweat pouring from my face mixing with tears. I can tell I've been screaming by the scratchiness of my throat. The nightmares are back. Great.

I bring my clammy hands up to my eyes and rub away the exhaustion and tears, pressing against my closed lids until I see stars.

My head feels foggy and heavy. When I had nightmares a few years back they were bad enough to make me sick. The nightmares had stopped when I got better. I don't know what I'm going to do if they come back again, but I do know I'm stronger this time.

It takes a few moments for me to realize where I am, observing the slate white ceiling above me and running my fingers over the soft duvet. I took a deep breath, realizing I'm still laid in Evans welcoming bed. Quickly the previous night comes flooding back to me.

Evan must have awoken before me and left for he wasn't here now and his minty smell wasn't lingering, indicating he left a while ago. I know I should be concerned as to why he is gone, and don't get me wrong I am but its not the first thing that is racing through my mind as a smile spreads across my weary face when I remember the way his arms wrapped around my torso as he thought I slept.

I loved feeling close in that way to him, with other people I don't feel very comfortable being touched. Of course I love hugs but I rarely let anyone touch me like I let Evan, let him wrap himself around me when he's sad. Or hug him tightly for minutes when I'm panicking. There's just something about it that is undeniably comforting.