Hold Me Close

i grieve different

Over the course of the next ten days, the people around me work tirelessly to get things set straight. It ruins my birthday, but I don't care about turning twenty-six. It's scarily close to thirty.

First, they scour the internet to find the original videos. The worst of the three that were circulated is one captured right outside my old apartment building. We were supposed to go out to meet Guro and Sam, but we had a terrible argument. As Scarlett walked out, I grabbed her hand, and that was where the video cut off.

It looked aggressive and controlling, I will admit.

The unedited footage, however, shows what followed that; how Scarlett let it happen, pulling me into a hug, pressing an apologetic kiss to my lips when we parted. I turned to go back inside, missing out on that lunch, and we made up when she returned.

With the clear evidence against the insults a certain newspaper has been hurling at me, my lawyer sends them an email, politely requesting that they remove the articles. My agent, who is currently in talks with Coca-Cola, makes sure to determine how much the brand deal would be worth, meaning we know what figure to sue them for.

The damage to my reputation could cost me €3.5 million. We are going to sue for five hundred thousand Euros less than that, per my request.

I am lounging on Alexia's sofa when I get the text saying that the injunction has been granted by the judge. Nala jumps down from my lap – we have made friends now – as I squeal, and Alexia is quick to congratulate me.

This means that they can't keep publishing articles. It makes the threat of taking the newspaper company to court very real. In fact, it terrifies them.

"You were worried for nothing," Alexia says, slotting herself in the gap between me and the back of the sofa, getting comfortable before reaching over me to get the TV remote.

"If you put El Silencio on, I'll fall asleep," I warn her. It has happened for every episode in the series, but the naps are not unwelcome when I spend my nights tossing and turning alone in my bed, wondering when this whole shitstorm will pass. Alexia's apartment is like a tornado shelter. Safe and unreachable from the outside world.

"Why?" I can feel her frown against my neck. "It is so exciting."

"I have enough excitement in my life."

A few more messages come through on the group chat between Jaimie, Leah, and I (a group chat I have tried to leave but somehow get added back to by Jaimie every single time). They are both overjoyed at the news. Leah has gone to watch the final of the Rothesay Open in Nottingham, but claims that this is better than if Jaimie wins later on.

To be honest, the England captain has done me a few favours since the final. She explained everything to Keira in an attempt to reassure me that the team won't hate me, and it worked. The lawyers' confidence has also helped me remember that the things the articles say are all lies, too, and Alexia has made it her mission to keep me in that mindset.

"What will happen now?" Alexia asks ten minutes into the last episode. I shift from my extremely comfortable, trying to forget the way she stiffens when I accidentally push back into her. Nala perks up at the sign of life from us, trotting over to lick the hand draped over my stomach. Alexia wipes her demon's saliva on my cheek, which makes it hard for me not to gag.

"I want to settle outside of court. We could compromise and negotiate it to €1 million. It's not about the money – Coca-Cola said they will go ahead with the deal as long as it is clear defamation. I just don't want people to think that I am some monster."