Hold Me Close

a roommate? a therapist?

Talia sits next to me on the plane to London. Ingrid stands in the aisle looking rather offended, but sees the seat next to Frido and gladly takes it, glancing at me before she puts her headphones in. I can see the question in her eyes, but I do not answer.

Before we boarded, Jonatan pulled me aside for a bizarre conversation. He asked me whether I still disliked Alexia. I said yes, though I tried to seem mature about it in case he benches me again. He reacted like he was pleased to hear that, and then patted me on the back and told me to get on the plane.

Thinking about the strange interaction once more, I fall into a silence that the twenty-year-old next to me finds impossibly boring. I wonder how talkative she would be if she could speak English fluently, because she manages to keep a conversation going with her broken use of the language now. She starts quizzing me about London, to which I answer with as little words as possible.

"What is your favourite shop?" she asks for the fifth time, dissatisfied with my previous answers.

"I told you that it was IKEA," I say, growing frustrated. We haven't even taken off yet. "IKEA is great, Talia. You should go, I will take you."

She shakes her head. "I already have the furniture." We've been over this before, too. Her apartment consists of a sofa and a table with three chairs. Her roommate spends more time in other people's beds, and is too lazy to buy anything else. "I need a bed, yes? I will buy on Amazon."

"I will take you to IKEA." She's only young. She'll learn. "Why are you not sitting next to your friends?" Her, Salma, and Vicky all know each other from the national youth system.

Talia looks at where they are sitting and grimaces. Interesting. "I want to be the greatest, like you. So I am learning from you."

"Well, let me teach you something." I beckon her to lean in. "Go to IKEA and buy a bed," I whisper in her ear. She laughs, loudly.

We get a few looks, namely a glare from Alexia. "You are too funny, Fleur."

I shrug, smirking. Alexia is still staring, which makes it better. Now that I seem to be fine, she has returned to her usual bitchiness, probably because she doesn't have to feel guilty about ruining my mental health or whatever. I'm on the mend! I bet I can absolutely demolish the standard amount of therapy someone needs. I'm known for fast recoveries.

"Yeah, whatever. We'll see who's playing a minute and who's not," I tease her. She rolls her eyes, and we settle into a steady conversation for the rest of the flight.

While we are in the air, I text Jaimie to see whether she has landed safely. Leah ruptured her ACL yesterday and is distraught, and Jaimie was planning to watch both legs of the Chelsea match anyway ("in case you have another panic attack, Flootz"). My sister says that all is well with her girlfriend for the time being, and confirms she will be attending tomorrow.

Talia takes up the rest of the flight by boring me to sleep, and so she has to nudge me awake when we arrive in London. Lucy and Keira are happy to be back in the country, but everyone else groans at the possible horrific weather. We're lucky as we disembark, though, and I have to undo a few more buttons on my shirt because I get too hot.

We get to the hotel with an hour to spare before heading to Stamford Bridge for a light training; we will have one tomorrow as well.

Jonatan looks nervous as he reads out the room assignments.

When he says my name, followed by Alexia's, I understand why.

The team collectively hold their breath, with Mapi and Ingrid both making their way towards Jonatan to argue with him. He shakes his head once, a very firm gesture, and they deflate. I look over to Alexia, who clenches her jaw and accepts the keycard that is handed to her with a brief 'gracias' and a glance at me to see if I am coming with her. I nod at Ingrid, who doesn't seem at all happy with our manager, and wheel my suitcase over to the lift. It's fine because we're all on the same floor.