To my Dearest Friend

Naivety

My dearest, Yves

Thank you for your last letter. I'm glad you liked my photographs. I'm sorry to hear about your current situation. And thank you for the advice but I promise, I an cautious. So I went to this Dinner party at Émile. I met Christiane, she made me think of your sister. She wears suits while being woman, how weird but funny is that? You know I have never liked dinner parties but this one was extraordinary. All of the people present were bright and they freely discussed everything from academic things to politics to art. I must say that Émile is very bright, he thinks the same way as you do. The party was beautiful, I wish you could've been there, they told you to forget the rules. It was bizarre, you would've fit right is, they discussed the psychologist you have been raving about. I loved hearing you in these people it made them seem more familiar to me. The theme was black and red. Yves, I begin to doubt if you're the wealthiest friend I have anymore. I'm am jesting of course. There are so many interesting people here. I still wish you could be here. I've asked my father if he knows the Polignac family, he said your father knows Emile's father, so you might know him from when you were young. The next thing on my planning now is my first church service. I look forward to it. I'm not sure which church I should take but I'll see. As long as it's a house of God right my friend?

But I wanted to know more about your problems with your dear father who does he want you to marry or does he not care? because if so choose a girl that hates high society just to get on his nerves. The best would be if she doesnt even have a title! But don't tell anywbody I told you that. He will leave you alone in a minute when he hears you want to marry a girl beneath your standing. tell me if it worked.

Your rain,

your dearest friend, Cyril Courtenay

I take a sip from my fifth whiskey today. I look outside, my sister is running around with Eleanor, I would know that spark in her eyes anywhere. I think I now the feeling she has attached to that dear friend. I sigh and put out my cigarette. Enoch enters the room, Cyril would always call him my prodigy. 'you have a letter from Cyril, shall I open it' he asks me. I shake my head and don't look at him. 'no, our correspondence is private Enoch, it would be bad manners to open it.' 'Are you alright Yves, you seem... different.' I chuckle, 'We all change according to the settings we're in, we never know if we have the purest and most honest version of the other.' 'Well you are not in a good mood today.' I smile and look it him 'Sorry Enoch, and indeed, you're right. I am in no mood today. Do you want to go to the library?' I follow him to the library. but even that doesn't seem to lift my spirits. I sighs, Enoch is reading Nietzsche. It seems that is his fallen Messiah, he helped him get out of the struggle he has had with the church. I never got that, for me the struggle with religion is a never ending story, I want to have faith but how can I have faith in something that's being disapproved constantly, and I'm not talking about God Himself. I'm talking about his cursed rules of humanity and the church. Cyril firmly believes that God is the only thing that is truly good in this world, He might be right but God's name is , was and has always been used to justify crimes against humanity. I will not deny a God but I will also not indulge in one. I always thought that was part of Cyril- twisted naivety, he commits sins on an at least monthly basis and I should know because I had a part in it. And still he believes in the rules of a promised land, but still he wants to indulge as much in this life just in case there is no second. I get Hedonism, I get christianity, but I don't get how those two would ever mix. but I might be the naive one. Maybe god is not about restriction but more so about comfort. 'Do you agree?' Enoch ask, I have no idea what he said but I smile and nod. He smiles, happy I gave him the feeling he is not utterly mad. Well, I know he isn't but by god am I?