To my Dearest Friend

Dying

I raise my hand to knock on the door and I notice a tint blueish purple on them. I'm not sure why, Perhaps I do know why but I don't want to acknowledge it. I do not want to accept that my fate seems to be slowly suffocating.

Before I can knock, Charles opens the door.

'Mein Himmel!' he exclaims in German as I stumble in. Have I mentioned his mother is German? I try to catch myself before my head hit his marble tiles but I feel the coldness on my hands before giving in to the fall.

Charles looks worried, he loos bewildered. He looks at me like a parent would look at their children seeing them drunk for the first time. 'Yves what have you been up to?' He asks. Genuinely curious how the Yves he know, the one who always stays in line is lying on his marble floors. How I have changed, I am so ashamed of myself.

I am severely out of breath so the only thing I manage to blurt out is; 'Hemopneumothorax I think' I try standing up and it's not like I can't but it feels like a sword is pushed through my heart. Well, I do not know what that feels like but still.

Charles helps me up and he slowly walks me to his study while supporting me with his shoulder. He's whispering something under his breath like a worried brother. I do not have the energy to try to listen to it. He guides me towards the divan.

'Yves why aren't you seeing a doctor?' tears flood my eyes as I bite down to cotain them.

I shake my head 'no doctors.' I do not want doctors, even if that means I will die doctors cannot be involved I do not want this to become some kind of story about my family.

 'But Yves... what do you think I need to do?' I take a deep breath. I don't think he needs to do, I know what he needs to do. I can't believe I am doing this but I do not see any other solution.

I take a deep breath. 'you need to puncture my chest wall to de drain the blood and air. We need to find something to get the blood out.' he nods but I see that deep down he doesn't understand half of it and the other half he is terriefied to do.

'I can't do this alone. I need to get somebody, stay here.' He says. I chuckle 'It's not very easy to move.' I say smirking, he laughs. 'God you're impossible, you're dying and still joking.' I smile. 'Always' But I am frightened he will be getting a doctor. 'Lavender, please keep an eye on Yves. So he doesn't run away.' I want to laugh. 'I'll be back.'

Lavender looks at me. 'I knew Charles was not normal but I never expected to have a dying man sitting on our divan' I smile. 'It's not a habit of mine.' I respond with my charming smile she laughs. 'I'm happy for you two, you seem so perfect.' I say to her. she smiles and nods.

'He's married to his job first. But I knew that already.' she responds with an elgant smile. 'If you ask him for his attention he'll give it. He's a gentleman' 'Maybe I will.' 'You deserve to be happy with this marriage Lavender.' she smiles. 'I really am Yves.'

Charles enters the room with another gentlemen. I recognise him immediately. It was the top student when Cyril was studying, he would always have a rivalry over grades and who would do a better job.

'This is Malachi Akiva, Akiva is his real name but you know, I don't think that I have to explain that.' the young man must be my age but has dark brooding eyes as if he has seen a lot. His half long black hair is a bit curly. 'Hello Yves, I know what we're going to do.' he says with a slight smile, I nod. 'Thank you' Charles gives me a dose of opium. I feel the pain settling.

'It would probably be wiser if look up an do not look at what I'm doing' Akiva says. I look up and I suddenly feel a sting in my right chest. I feel my teeth clenching and my eyes begin to water. but immediately after the sting I feel as if a load has been lifted off my chest. I feel myself trembling as I feel the warm blood trickling down.

I can finally breathe. The first thing I do is sigh. It doesn't really hurt anymore, it still feels weird. Akiva sutures the wound 'If it hurts again don't hesitate to contact me again. You know you risked heart failure? And you need to be careful about pain because it could get infected'

'How much do I owe you sir...' 'Meier.' 'Meier?' 'yes, I'm a German Jew.' 'How much?' 'Just a beautiful dinner with you and charles'. 'That is all? I owe you my life?' I respond stumped by his answer. he smiles.

'I am happy to see such an uncommon injury. And I mean that in the least offensive way possible sir Montague.' I smile. This man seems rather smart but also rather socially awkward.

'How is Cyril?' he asks out of the blue. 'you were his friend right?' he says in the means to clarify his question. I nod. 'I heard he was moving to Paris.' he goes on. I nod 'He's adjusting rather well, he likes France. He has made some friends.' I respond. 'I always knew he was destined for great things. Did he start a practice there?' I shake my head. 'No? What a shame.'

'I don't believe you two were very fond of eachother.' he chuckles 'indeed we were somewhat of we had a tinge of rivalry but it was al in good fun. He pushed me to my limits.' Akiva says. 'Seems helpful' Charles says laughing. We all laugh.

'I seriously thought this would be my last day gentlemen.' we all laugh, how strange, one moment you're dying and the other you're laughing with the people who saved you. It's so peculiar. I feel to extremely alive, to be honest I haven't felt this good since Cyril left. But that might be the opium talking.