Trying Love, Again

Chapter 21- --- Spilt Milk

I flumped into my bed, burying my face in my palms as my elbow rested on my knee and started sobbing.

I wished I could erase what had just happened. I felt so helpless and alone. Beth was away at work. There was absolutely no one around to comfort me.

I picked up my phone and dialed Beth but she was not responding. I dialed her a couple more time and still no response. So I texted her.

"I need you right now, Beth."

I dropped my phone before curling myself up on the bed.

I have fallen asleep while waiting for Beth to respond to my text and calls. It has gotten a bit late and dark outside. It was around seven fifty-six in the evening. Hours after I had fallen asleep on the spot where I had curled up.

Her room was across mine, she would need to walk past my room a bit to get to hers. Although my door was closed and I was asleep, still she opened my door gently poking her head through to check in on me. When she saw that I was curled up on the bed and the text and missed calls she got, she figured something must have happened.

Then she had decided to go drop her bags in the her room first, take a quick shower, feel refreshed, before she came back to my room to check on me.

When she got to my door, she knocked lightly. She always knocked. Yet there was no response. She opened the door to let herself in, I was still in the same spot; I hadn't turned, hadn't moved, hadn't changed position. She had taken in my posture and body movement.

My breathing wasn't even. It had been obvious to her that I'd been crying before I had fallen asleep. She walked to me, took in my form more closely, then laid beside me on the bed. I felt warm arms wrapped around my shoulder and pulled their body into mine.

Beth help me tightly, then one of her hands ran up and down my arm soothingly. She probably didn't intend to wake me up, just wanted to comfort me, but I felt the touch on my skin and I opened my eyes.

At first, I could only see her silhouette, but later I regained my vision and I could see her clearly. I slowly sat up a looked at her. Before I could even register her face, she came in for a big warm hug.

"I was so occupied at work I missed your calls. And I got your text. What's going on?" She said with calmness.

I rested my chin on her shoulder. Tears threatened at the back of my eyes again. Oh you traitor! I closed my eyes. I buried my face in the crook of her neck. She patted my back and rubbed my arm to calm me down. When I was a little calm she pulled back and she searched my eyes.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.

I shook my head. No. If I spoke, I'd cry. But she just nodded in response while she waited for me till I was ready to talk. Which I did.

"Everything is just messed up! I... I... Folu... He kissed me. And Kiitan was standing there... and he was it... and..." I plopped my face into her chest crying my eyes dry. "He just left angrily. He didn't even say a word."

"Oh boy! Folu came here? And kissed you! Oh my goodness! Babe." She said sympathetically.

"I don't know what to do. I'm lost. Why? Why does Folu not want me to be happy? Why! What does he want from me? Yes, I admit it, I was hung up on him for so long. But I was finally getting over him and was ready to pursue what I have currently with Kiitan." I sobbed releasing a snort. "I let him ruin everything. Kiitan wouldn't talk to me. I'm even ashamed to face him."

Uche just sat there and listened as I went on and on. Comforting me in her own way.

"It's not like Folu gives me any assurance. He's here one minute, the next he's gone. He's always gone with no words. He wouldn't call, wouldn't text, nothing." I ranted. "And that's not even the worst part, the worst part? He comes back, and act like nothing happened, like nothing is wrong and everything is OK. Telling me how he missed me. Like dude! You have a freaking girlfriend." I gushed angrily "Let me move on in peace. But then he expects me to just jump into his arm wherever he appears again. And what do I do? Exactly that. I'm so stupid! I shouldn't have let him kiss me."

"Hey! No! Look at me..." she lifted my face to her with her fingers, "You are not stupid" She said with so much conviction. "You're smart, beautiful and a good person. You should never be ashamed of how hard you love. Never apologize for loving so truly. You emotions got the best of you, it could happen to anyone."

"I should have made him understand he can't make up for lost time. And drawn a boundary." Tears formed beneath my eyes. But I blinked them back. "How does one explain kissing a man one minute and kissing another the next. Look at me, am I not a mess? Can such person be ever trusted?"

"Have you tried explaining to Kiitan?"

"He didn't even wait for me to say anything, he just left" I said shrugging, "He was so mad I could smell him fuming."

"Wow!" She exclaimed "But he'd have to listen at so point if he truly cares about you, though."

"What if he doesn't want to ever talk to me?" I stated whimpering.

"He'd come around definitely. She said reassuringly. "Just give him time to process everything."

"You think so?" Wiping off the tears on my face.

"Yes." She confirmed. "What happened with Folu anyway?"

"I don't even want to talk about him right now." Said said dismissively, "Can you imagine he said he was going to break up with his girlfriend and all I need led to do was say the word. How stupid was that?"

"He said what now? Why?" She raised a brow.

"Saying he doesn't want her and it's me he wants." I said irritably.

"That Folu guy is something! Oh! Now he knows what he wants. He's such a clown." She scoffed clapping her hands.

"I was really angry, I just told him to leave. Because... what?" I huffed

She waved her hand in the air. "Anyways, don't beat yourself up so much over it."

"I'll try not to."

"Good! Have you eaten something?" She asked as she got up from the bed.

"I don't really have the appetite." I said pouting.

She chuckled, "So because of man, you don't have appetite?" She shook her head, "I will make hotdog-sausage-Noodles anyway. Come out to eat once it's ready."

She ordered firmly before stepping out of my room and I got my in my initial curled up position, sulking.