chapter 29:
rose's heart is beating so so fast.
her hands are trembling.
her tummy is upset. she hasn't eaten anything.
she is starting to wonder if there was a time when she was this nervous.
the last time she felt like this was when she met her dad for the first time in 10 years.
however, there are different types of nerves.
there's this one when you feel it in your veins.
rose is reminded of when she met adam.
she felt nervous, each organ of hers was trembling.
this is a good type of nerves.
however, the worst type is the type she's feeling right now.
maybe not worst, but the unwelcome and unpleasant type.
she's supposed to be happy.
she wants to be.
although, rose is always nervous and used to her hands trembling, like this.
she unwelcomes it tonight when it's her wedding night.
she doesn't want to be nervous on a day like this.
not when she woke up throwing up at 5 am, couldn't sleep, and has a pimple sitting on the bottom of her cheek, above her jaw.
she's stressed, along with her nerves.
rose wonders if adam feels the same.
but he's adam. he's perfect. he doesn't get nervous, he gets excited.
he doesn't get angry, he becomes grateful.
he rarely gets mad but is always calm and collected.
he's not like anyone. he's not like most.
every time the thought of adam crosses her mind, her heart feels like it hit her stomach.
the feeling is intense, her emotions are heightened, her love for him is whole-hearted, and her heart is so so full.
she knows tonight will be bittersweet.
the thought of her dad is the bitter part, and adam is the sweet part.
despite the fact that her heart is full of adoration for her man, her heart is eating itself by reason of guilt.
how can she be happy when her dad isn't happy?
how will she be able to live when her dad won't?
how is she going to act all okay when her dad is scared and counting the days down?
will he be happy tonight?
will he cry when he walks her down the aisle? will he be okay tonight? she hopes so.
adam's never felt like this before, he's sure.
adam's heart can be full sometimes after saving someone's life, helping someone out, or getting praised at work.
however, nothing beats the feeling of fullness his heart is at.
there are different types of fullness.
the first type is the fullness you feel only in your heart, it doesn't keep your heart pumping or anything. it just feels like your heart is satisfied.
he usually feels like this at work.
the second type is the one you feel when you see someone you love happy.
