As I- Ella Fletcher- go through life, just trying to run away from my past. It all catches up With me, a rollercoaster of emotions and failure. But happiness and love.
It's now been a month since Amanda passed away, we all went to her funeral and Leah still mourns her death daily. I took a a break from football to be with Leah and she also took a break. I say to Leah "I arranged last night for me to go see the Chelsea girls, I sort of owe then an explanation considering I haven't seen them since we went up against Tottenham" "Yeah that's fine, when will you be back?" She asks "Not sure, I'll message you" I reply
I get in my car and drive to the Chelsea training ground. I get there and see all the girls on the pitch. I wave at them and walk through the entrance. I was wearing this:
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I get to the training pitch and Emma comes over "are you okay?" She asks "Yeah, I am thanks Emma" I say "Ready to return?" She asks "Not sure yet, I just owe everyone an explanation" I say "You owe nothing to anyone" "Thanks Emma" I say
The girls finish training and come over to me, they all give me a hug. We stand in a huddle and I say "I didn't come out on the night of when we beat spurs because Leah's mam was in hospital, the day after she died. I've been on a break because she's needed support"
"Tell her we are sorry" Sam says
"Yeah, I will. I just wanted to come today to see you all, hopefully I will be back soon but until then I wish you all the luck in your game on Sunday against Manchester City"
We finish and I go into the changing rooms with them. I sit at my spot and Sam sits next to me "me and Kristie are having a baby" she says "Oh my god, congratulations" I say I hug her and she says "shush, none of the other girls know" "Sorry, is Kristie the one pregnant?" I ask "No I am, I found out last week. She's moving over here, she's playing at West Ham, starting in two weeks. I can't wait" "Bet you can't. What about names have you been thinking?" I ask "A boy we have decided on Conner and a girl we don't know yet" "I'm so happy for you Sam" I say "It means a lot, I appreciate it. Thanks" "Any day" I say
Millie sits on the other side of me "ahhh. We've missed you" she says shaking me side to side. "Nice to know" I say "When will you be back" she asks me "Don't know. I want to make sure le is okay, but she's hiding all her emotions, I know her too well for her to keep telling me she's fine" I reply "She does that, she wants to appear calm" Millie says "I'm meant to go to Brazil next week, I cancelled my flight a month ago. Should I take le with me?" I ask "Yeah, you defo should. Give you both a break" Millie says "I'll ask her about it tonight" "Okay" I stand up and say to the girls "well I'm going to get going. See you all soon" I say
