Silhouette of a Wilted Flower

Apology

Basil didn't know how long he sat there for.

The tears on his face had dried up, leaving behind trails of salt that stung his cheeks. The room was a blur of black tendrils and menacing eyes. His own eyes were heavy. Throat sore. Head throbbing. Heart aching.

Freezing, yet burning all at once. Hurting, but also feeling nothing at all.

A few minutes ago, his worst nightmare came true.

But if it was a nightmare, why wasn't he waking up?

He wanted to blink open his eyes and see potted plants hanging below his bedroom ceiling, to wake up cold, by himself, alone, but then at least that would mean Sunny wasn't leaving. That would fill him with hope again that Sunny could come back, just like he promised that day.

The eyes in the room blinked at him.

After four years...did he only save me to tell me this? That he's leaving?

Everyone always left.

I thought....

I thought it would be different this time....

One way or another, they'd always leave.

Please don't leave...

It was probably him. Something wrong with him. Something he did. There had to be a reason why this kept happening. He...must have done something wrong. He must be doing something wrong.

Was I too annoying?

Constantly going on and on about his stupid plant facts. About the stupid meaning of flowers. No one cared. He knew that nobody cared, but he kept talking, hoping that somebody would. And somebody did... Sunny did.

But now Sunny's moving.

Maybe he's seen through me...

Everyone always looked at him strangely when he wore flowers in his hair or said he enjoyed gardening. He heard the things people at church would say. That's why he stopped attending service. He wasn't supposed to like flowers or gardening. Only one person had ever fully accepted him in spite of those things, but-

But now Sunny's moving.

I was probably too clingy...

When he and Aubrey became friends, he followed her around like a pathetic puppy. She probably thought he was annoying, but was too nice to say it. Then, she introduced him to everyone else. And he moved his clinginess to Sunny.

Sunny said he didn't think he was clingy. Sunny said he didn't think he was annoying. Sunny said he didn't he was weird.

But now Sunny's moving.

The eyes pressed closer. Something crept further up his body.

Basil's throat felt dry.

Nothing was ever going to be the same again. He was stupid for thinking so. Sunny coming back only to say he was leaving again was the world mocking Basil for even daring to selfishly hope that there would be some sort of reprieve or relief from the turmoil of the last four years. The moment Basil tied the noose, he had crossed over an invisible line. There wasn't any hope of salvation for people like him.

This is what he got for the suffering he caused. This is what he got for hurting everyone around him. This is what he got for being disgusting. Vile. Evil.

This is what he got for hoping that things could be normal again. He was stupid for hoping anything could ever be normal again. Those days were gone. Everything was gone. Those happier times. Mari. Grandma. Soon, Sunny. It was all gone. They would never make new memories together again.