Sometimes Love Isn't Enough

I Will Fight For You

Currently, we are on our way to Utah. Brendon and Dan are currently trying to keep Skai  entertained. She's started trying to pull herself up onto her feet by using the furniture. God help us when she starts walking. She's been crawling for a little while, but I think she definitely prefers being upright.

The first thing I need to do when we arrive is find Elise. We need to get this mess sorted out. It's no good for anyone. Brendon has been awake for most of the night. I found him at 3 am. this morning, sitting in the lounge area by himself nursing an old fashioned.
"Bren, you can't sit here all night. You need to try and get some sleep. You have a show tonight."
"I know," he sighs. "I just can't switch my mind off. Everything keeps running through it. How I've caused this situation, the hurt I've caused you. The hurt I'm causing you now, forcing you to raise another baby..."
"Brendon, you are NOT forcing anything on me. I wouldn't have suggested it in the first place if I didn't want to do this. You can't keep going over the past. What's happened has happened. It's in the past. Nothing is going to change that.  What we need to concentrate on now is this child."
"I know, but I can't help it. You know what my anxiety is like."
"I do, and I also know that lack of sleep makes it worse. So, c'mon, let's get back to bed, and I'll help you fall asleep."

That's why this morning, we both look like death warmed up. I've made breakfast for everyone, and now the bus is nice and  quiet because they all have their mouths full.  I managed to get through to our lawyer last night, and he confirmed that we have a solid case to present to Elise. I mean, for God sakes she doesn't want the baby, so why should she be against this.

When we arrive at the venue, I leave Skai with Brendon and go looking for Elise. I haven't told Brendon that I'm going to speak to her again. I find her backstage ironing tonight's outfits.
"Elise?...Can we talk?"
"Carlyn, I told you yesterday how I felt."
"I know you did, and I respect that. I have one question, though. What are you intending to do with the baby once it's born? I mean, if you have no intention of raising it or taking it to New York with you, what happens to them?"
"I am going to put it up for adoption."
"Adoption!!!  Elise, you can't be serious, surely? What about Brendon? Doesn't he deserve the chance to get to know his child? That's not fair on him.. You should have at least spoken with him about this. He is the father, after all."
"Yes, who is married to YOU and already has a child! Do you seriously think he would want another? Under these circumstances, would YOU want to raise a child that isn't yours? One that  was the result of a one night stand?? A constant reminder of his infidelity?"
"Look, Elise, don't underestimate me. I'm still majorly pissed about what you and Brendon did, but this child has done nothing to deserve being treated like this. Like they are a major inconvenience! I get you've now decided you don't want children, and you think that putting them up for adoption is your only option, but it's not. Brendon at least deserves the opportunity to have his say and to be involved in the decisions that need to be made. Believe me, I know what it's like to be on the receiving end of a parent that never wanted you it's fuckn horrible!!"
"Carlyn....."
"I'm not finished, Elise!!. This afternoon, after soundcheck, the 3 of us are sitting down and discussing this child's future. Whether you want to or not! By tonight, we WILL know what is happening, U.Get.
Me?" I turn on my heels and leave before she has a chance to respond.

I'm so bloody angry, and by the time I get back to the dressing room, my adrenaline is still surging. Upon hearing me enter, Brendon looks up and knows straight away that something is wrong.
"Uh oh, Skai, mommy has her fighting face on. We should be scared." He jokes, trying to lighten the mood. Skai, for some reason, Skain always finds him funny.
"DON'T.  EVEN, Bren..." I warn him. "I've just  spoken with Elise.."
"I know that look Carlyn," he sighs, "did you speak with Elise, or did you speak at her?"
"For fuck sake Brendon will you just listen to me!"
"Sorry, go on Babe." He urges.
"After soundcheck, the three of us are sitting down, and we are going to sort this shit show out!!. We need to be prepared for this baby coming."
"I know, but what if she doesn't agree to it?"
"What!! Do you seriously think she'd rather let a child grow up in the system instead of with their father and sibling??"
"Well, when you say it like that..."
"Brendon, that is NOT happening!....christ I need a drink....."