Reborn as a Side Character in the Beastworld

Chapter Sixty-six

Once inside the dark cavern, I was blind. There was a fire pit but the light from the dying embers and the entrance was not enough for me to see by. Thankfully the ceiling was high and there was a vent hole up there so the smoke never filled the space. I made a mental note to ask Bai about oil lanterns and wicks.

"Shuu, can you light the fire please? I can't see." Unlike my eyes, Shuu was able to see just fine in the dying light.

"Right away." He said as he moved to do as I'd asked. He added a few of the dry logs we kept down here and soon the flames licked and ate at them, lighting up the cavern with flickering shadows.

Once I could see, I sat on the edge of the spring, took off my sandals and dipped my toes into the warm water. Shuu stood next to the fire, unsure of what to do until I patted the spot next to me. His tail wagged and he moved to sit on my right, dipping his own feet with a small moan of pleasure.

"Ooh, the water feels nice," he said, fascinated. "I thought it was going to be too hot with how much steam there is." He kicked his heels a little, causing small ripples to lap against my calves. Though not as hot as the baths I would run for myself as a human, the warm water was just right for my fox blood.

"Mhmm." I responded, distractedly.

We sat in silence for a time, listening to the drip of condensation on the walls. I didn't know where to begin and my mind kept flipping through the various conversation starters, each one sounding more and more awkward in my head. Shuu was the one that ended up breaking the silence.

With his eyes on the water, his clear tenor voice echoed softly against the cavern walls, "You said we needed to talk but you aren't saying anything. Is everything alright?"

I stretched my tense neck side to side, "Yes. I'm just not sure how to start."

He looked up at me, his blue eyes reflecting slightly yellow in the dim light, "It's about our mating isn't it?"

I nodded.

His ears drooped and his tail flopped lifeless to the ground, "You've changed your mind."

I looked at him and shook my head emphatically, "No. I haven't. But I want to make sure it's what you really want and you're not just choosing me because you feel obligated to."

He tilted his head confused, his ears were lopsided by gravity's influence, "Obligated? Why? Because of my father?"

"That..." I pulled one foot out of the water, bending my knee and wrapping my arms around my leg as I rested my chin on it, "and I was worried you have feelings for Qingqing."

In self-derision he sneered, "Ah. You don't trust me."

I lifted my head from my arms, upset at his words, "Why do you say it like that? I trust you I just want you to be sure."

He turned his body, placed his palms on the ground and leaned towards me, his eyes seeking mine like a moth seeks a flame, "I AM sure, Bailey. When you let us into your home and saved Oliver, I admired you. When you healed me and got angry for my sake, I adored you. When you put yourself in danger to protect my nephews, I fell in love with you. And when you allowed my brother and his mate to live, I knew I couldn't live without you." He raised one hand to take a lock of my hair, bringing it to his forehead as he closed his eyes and bowed his head, "Now that I know what real love is, I understand that what I felt for Qingqing was nothing more than a passing fantasy. A fool's delusion. How could I possibly love someone I hardly said two words to?" 

I could see the muscles of his jaw tense as he clenched his teeth. Then he exhaled a shaky breath and raised his eyes to meet mine once again, "I understand if you feel like you can't trust me but please don't turn me away. I will prove to you every day for the rest of my life my love and loyalty for you. Please." The last word was a desperate whisper and his eyebrows contorted in misery.

The wolf now knew the difference between infatuation and love. It was a commendable thing in a world where males rarely changed their minds once they've set their sights on a female. Like high school sweethearts, we think our first real relationship is the one that will last forever. We don't realize that who we think we are, is not who we will be. How can you know and love someone else when you don't even know yourself?

Despite my split memories, or maybe because of them, I knew who I was, and Shuu knew that he loved me. There was no need to doubt any longer.

I placed my hands on the damp stone and leaned, closing the distance between us. When I could feel his breath on my lips, I pushed a little closer, letting the soft flesh press against his. But he didn't respond to the touch.

I pulled back to look at him in question. "Do you not want to kiss me?"

With unshed tears making his eyes look even more reflective, he said softly, "I do."

"Then do it." I encouraged a bit perplexed as to why he hadn't.

With my permission verbalized, he closed the distance. His lips met mine, soft and hesitant. A gentle press of warmth. His lips were slightly dry and tickled where the rough skin brushed me. It was clear he wasn't sure what to do so I quickly took back the reigns and tilted my head to the side, deepening our connection. I kissed his upper lip, then his lower lip, teasing them to part and mimic my movements. Only when he did, did I add a swipe of tongue, wetting his lips and encouraging him to do the same.

He liked that bit. Once he knew he could taste me, his tongue probed between my lips. Shallow at first and then deeper as he slipped between my teeth. Our tongues wrapped around each other, exploring the soft and hard places. He tasted like flowers. Like the kind you could eat on top of a wedding cake. Sweet and earthy.

It left me breathless, but he didn't move to do more. His hands stayed where they were and our bodies were still only connected at our lips. I pulled away again in question. His eyelids drooped with a fevered gaze and his mouth stayed slightly open, letting his quick breaths escape.

"Aren't you going to touch me?" I asked breathily.

His eyes gained some focus, "Tell me where you want to be touched Bailey and I'll do it. Anything you ask. I'll do it."

I understood now. Unlike my intuitive tiger, shy but knowledgeable leopard, or my gently thorough snake, the wolf, the soldier needed direction. He was good at following orders and as my future mate, he was waiting for me to give them. The problem was, I wasn't sure I could do that. I had never been into the dom-slash-sub scene and wasn't confident I could make it enjoyable for either of us.

"Shuu. I want you to touch me wherever you want to touch. I want you to taste me, wherever you wish. I will tell you where it feels good or when it hurts, but I want you to do the same. Just like love is more than attraction, mating is more than just combining bodies. It's a conversation of the skin. Talk with me."

He thought over my words, trying to understand my meaning. "Can I really touch you anywhere?"

"Yes."

Finally comprehending he had permission to do as he wished, the wolf pounced.