Love is gonna get you killed

We'll be alright

I was disgusted and shocked. I wonder why, just why women do that to eachother. I mean we're all people with rights and feelings and all those things. I just don't get it. They were best friends. How could she do that to my mum? And you're telling me that until today, I was living with a lie. My life was a lie. I couldn't believe it. I always knew there was something between me and Katelyn that never worked out. We didn't even look alike. I don't have any feature that looks exactly like hers. Not a single one. How could I possibly not have known? And okay, now that I know, what do I do? What is going to happen next? I have no idea. Do I talk to my mum? Do I talk to someone else first? Well I didn't have many people to talk to. I had my mum, my new one practically from now on. I also had Hannah. That's it I think. Well yeah I have other friends too but they're just friends. They're not as close as Hannah is to me. I wasn't ready to talk to my mum yet and she told me to take my time anyways so yeah. I had no other choice. I took the letter and I was on my way to Hannah's house. I don't know why but I couldn't cry yet. I felt anger and sadness and fear and loneliness and abandonment and more. I couldn't cry though.

I knocked as soon as I got there. I wasn't sure if she was there but I gave it a chance. Suddenly I heard her walking down the stairs. She reached the door but when she saw me, she didn't opened it right away. I knocked twice. She waited a little bit more and then opened the door.

<<Hi>>, I said.

<<Hey>>, she didn't look so happy to see me I guess. << What are you doing here?>>

<< Look first I need to apologize for my behaviour the other night. I feel awful and I'm really sorry. I was so drunk and I couldn't control myself. You were just trying to help and I was being a total asshole. I'm sorry that I ruined one of the most important days of your life, I didn't mean to. I understand if you're still mad at me and it's okay if you want me to leave. I promise I will never get that drunk again and I do and always will love you with my whole heart>>

<<Well, I guess it's okay, I understand. Although you were being a total jerk, I can't let myself not talk to you again. I love you so much too. And it's okay, I actually had a great time even if it wasn't for long. I forgive you. Friends forever, remember?>>

<<Yeah, friends forever>>

I hugged her so tight and I was so glad that we were finally okay so I bursted in tears. That's when all the pain came out .

<<Lottie what's wrong?>>

I gave her the letter.

<< Katelyn wasn't my real mum>>, I was sobbing.

<<What are you talking about?>>

<<Just read the god damn letter>>

After five minutes, her reaction was like the emoji with the shocked face. She couldn't say a word. After a while she finally spoke when I was still crying.

<<Lottie this can't be true• tell me it's not please. I mean yeah me and my mum always thought that Katelyn was cruel but not that>>

<<Believe me, I'm more shocked than you are right now>>

<<Right, I'm sorry>>

<< I just can't believe it. What is going to happen after this? What do I do? That's why I came over. Hannah I have no one else I can talk to except you and my therapist who's apparently my mum>>

<<I know honey, I know. I just, I can't give you an answer to that. You'll have to find it on your own. I suggest you trying to talk to her. And trust me I will support you and help you as much as I can and I will be there for you, but I'm sorry , it's your decision to make. You don't have many choices. You go talk to her, start things from the begging and then spend the rest of your life with her by your side as your mum, or you never talk to her again, start a completely new life and be independent. You choose. Just so you know, whatever you choose, I'll support you and I'll be there for you>>

<< Thank you girl, it means a lot. And you're right. I have to figure things out on my own for once. I have to be independent for once. I have to let me go>>

<<There you go, you got this trust me. I'm gonna be with you forever, I'll never leave you. And whatever happens, we will face it together I promise. You'll be alright. We'll be alright>>

<<You're right. We'll be alright>>

I spent the rest of the day in Hannah's house. We ordered sushi, we snuggled with a nice soft blanket and we watched Netflix until midnight. I decided to sleep there because I didn't want to be in my house alone. We weren't comfortable in her couch, which was so big by the way, so we went to her bedroom to sleep. She fell asleep immediately. On the other hand, I didn't got a wink all night. I kept thinking about the letter and how it changed my life completely, in a few minutes. I decided that I had to talk to mum someday. I couldn't avoid her forever. I just couldn't find the right way to do it. And I hadn't made my decision yet.

<<What are you doing? Aren't you supposed to be sleeping?>>, Hannah woke up in the middle of the night. What happened? Was I thinking too loud?

<<Well yeah, I can't sleep. I'm sorry I woke you up>>

<<No it's fine I woke up by myself. I was thirsty so I thought maybe I could drink something, probably water. Do you want anything?>>

<<No thanks I'm good>>

<<You should better get some sleep, you need energy>>

<<I'll try I guess>>

<<Try not to think about it too much you know. Only happy thoughts, trust me it helps>>

<<Okay fine, you convinced me, I'll sleep>>

<<Goodnight Bells>>

<<Goodnight princess Aurora>>

When we were young, me and Hannah were playing the princesses. I was always Belle from "Beauty and the beast" and she was Aurora from "Sleeping beauty". We still have our little princess moments that's why she calls me Bells.

She says that I remind her of Belle because of my long dark brown hair. She also believes that our characters are practically the same. I still can't see that. She is an Aurora herself too. Her blonde hair looks like gold and it's kind wavy. They have the same eye colour and not to forget but she is sleepyhead too. I always loved our princess moments. They make me feel like I'm still young with no responsibilities and problems and other grown up stuff. I've always wanted to be a little princess. Hannah did too. It's always been one of our dreams. Sometimes when life is difficult we say to ourselves "What a princess would do?". Right know I'm gonna ask myself the same question. What a princess would do in my situation?