Her Property

CHAPTER 30

MAYA'S POV:

"I HATE THAT DAMNN BRAT!!"
I've been ranting about the same thing to arsh on call.

"Well yes i know i have heard that countless of times , i am now getting tired of listening to the same thing for MORE THAN FREAKING 15 MINUTES" , He scolded.

"Tchhh , then where is your fucking brain? I am here to get some advice and you are just sitting there quietly" , i competed.

"I WOULD IF SOMEONE HERE GIVES ME A CHANCE" , he taunted.

Well true, my bad.

"Look , you may not have realised this but you keep thinking about him , doesn't matter with what intentions." , Arsh told me.

"Intentions?" , I asked.

"Well you know like when you say you are getting irritating by him or whatsoever , yet he doesn't leave your mind....not that you have one but you get what i am trying to say right??"

"Fortunately you are the brainless idiot here but yes it's true" , i claimed.

"Exactly so why not give him a actual chance?" , he adviced.

"NO!!! FUCK NO" , i shouted and cut the call immediately.

THIS IS SO NOT FAIR!! JUST BECAUSE I KEEP THINKING ABOUT HIM DOESN'T MEAN THAT I LIKE HIM.
I KEEP THINKING ABOUT FOOD TOO .....Uh well i do like food though.

BUT WITH PEOPLE !!!ITS DIFFERENT.

I know it.
I know.
Maybe.
I think.

Or maybe not.

I don't understand why i am so persistent of not agreeing with this.
Technically , even arsh is right.

Though love isn't real.
It's just a illusion and i don't want to get stuck in it.
I never loved.
I can only feel it.

I--i never loved somone.
Probably not even myself.

Well--i love myself knowing i can write beautiful things , i love myself when i get that perfect satisfaction by killing.
I love myself when i buy books.
But .....
I don't think i ever loved myself without that.

I have flaws.
A lot probably.
No one has ever taught me anything.
Not loving , hating , no nothing.
I always taught myself everything.
Everything--that i could.

Hence , i lack.
I cannot know everything.

I--i was a child.
Children are taught by others.
No one taught me anything.

It's always hard.
Hard connecting with people.

My phone buzzed , it's a text :

"You keep thinking about me?" , Abhijeet texted.

AGHH i even have my phone hacked ofcourse he heard everything!!

Though--i don't understand this.
I should just open up.
This is getting too mixed in my head.
It's gonna burst out soon which will be worse.

I opened his text and started typing ,
"I am sorry for being so incapable of not even being able to open up , I don't know why you say that you love me...i haven't done anything for you to fall in love with me. I don't even know how you know me. Let me cut it inshort , i don't know if i can return you whatever you give me , i don't know if you'll even like me when you get to know everything of me but yes i do think of you a lot of times. At first , i used to hate it but then again...truth is truth. "

Clicked on the send button.
He saw it immediately.
I don't know what he'll make of it but i feel a little good now.

He is typing.
I don't know how i should feel right now.