Marvel (MCU only) Stories

But Thor, Murder

Summary:

Tony annoys Loki to the brink of his insanity. Thor is tasked with saving Tony from Loki once the god finally snaps.

Ships:

Loki/Valkyrie

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Tony rips another page from his notebook, scrunches it, and tosses it at Loki. The ball bounces off Loki's forehead and joins the other crumpled papers on the ground. Loki's eye twitching is the only reaction Tony receives.

Unhappy with the lack of response, Tony rips multiple sheets of paper, balls them up, and tosses them at Loki one after the other. They smack into Loki's head and shoulders, then fall into his lap, covering the book Loki is attempting to read.

"Stark, I swear if you don't go away and leave me alone, I won't hesitate to kill you," Loki finally snaps. He brushes the paper balls into the floor elegantly.

"But, Reindeer Games, I'm having so much fun," Tony sing-songs. He smirks as he sends another paper ball flying at Loki's face.

Loki disintegrates the paper with a snap of his fingers. He dramatically sighs as he stands and struts in front of Tony. "I warned you, Stark."

"What are you going to do, Lackey?" Tony mocks. He leans against the back of the couch in a casual move.

"Only Valkyrie is allowed to call me that," Loki hisses.

Tony's grin widens. "Why? Is she your girlfriend?"

"No!" Loki yells with a blush.

His blush doesn't escape Tony's notice. "So, you wouldn't mind if I went for her? She's gorgeous."

Loki's voice scrunches up with anger. "Don't touch her," he warns lowly.

"I don't listen to you," Tony tells him. He stands, knocking Loki back an inch or two. He takes a step toward the elevator, presumably in search of Valkyrie.

Loki slams Tony against the wall. He holds him there with one hand wrapped around his throat. "You will listen to me, or you won't like what happens."

"What are you going to do? Huh? What?"

"This," Loki replies coldly.

He summons one of his daggers and brandishes it in the air. Tony's eyes widen as he takes in the weapon. He's only now realizing how much trouble he's landed himself in. He only wanted to irritate the god a little bit. He didn't mean to go this far.

"Hey, man, wait," he stutters. "There's no need for that. Put the knife away."

Loki ignores the pleas. He smirks malevolently. He places the tip of his dagger against the soft skin of Tony's stomach. "Don't move, Stark, or this dagger will find its way into your gut. How long do you think you'll survive with a fatal stab wound? Long enough to call for help? I don't think so."

Before Loki can sink the dagger into Tony's stomach, a large rough hand grasps his forearm. Thor bodily pulls Loki away from Tony. Tony releases a breath. His legs give out, and he slides to the floor. He's never been more terrified in his life.

Thor shakes Loki's arm in his iron grip until Loki drops the dagger. "Little Brother, we do not stab people! It is impolite," Thor scolds. He releases Loki's ar,m and the younger god rubs at the bruised skin.

"Did you have to grab me so tightly?"

"You were about to stab Tony," Thor points out.

"I would have made his death quick."

"That isn't the point, Loki. You can't kill every person who makes you mad."

"But he-"

"No buts. You've lost dagger privileges for the week. Give them to me." Thor holds his hand out.

"But Thor, murder," Loki whines, sounding every inch the sassy teenager he is.

"No, brother," Thor says firmly.

"I stab you all the time," Loki protests.

"That is different. I'm a god. I can take it. Tony is not. No stabbing anybody."

Loki pouts. Thor doesn't budge. Loki sighs, exasperated. "Fine, I won't stab Stark."

"Or anyone else," Thor prompts.

"Or anyone else," Loki repeats. He bends down to pick up his fallen dagger. He quickly lunges when Thor lets his guard down. He buries the blade to the hilt in Thor's stomach in a second. He leaves the dagger in his brother's stomach as he steps away.

Making eye contact with Tony, Loki wipes his bloody hands on the pristine white couch of the living room. Once clean, he picks up his book and leaves the room.

"Sorry, Thor, but I just love murder," he calls over his shoulder.

"Loki!" Thor roars.

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Words: 717

Published: 9/5/23

Also posted on AO3 (Jasper_Raid)