Sometimes rants, sometimes wacky ass shenanigans I come up while on the shitter, expect bad jokes, dark humor, lots of swearing and an angry synth.
Also anime girls in SFM.
Also also, no, this ain't a self insert harem or some bullshit like that, I...
In a random house in Fiction-city, we can see TTS watching TV bored as hell. "Man, I wish something interesting would happ- I'll better not finish that, I know what would happen and I don't want to be a harem protag."
Suddenly his phone ringtone goes on, awnsering the call the first thing he hears is Rito's screaming. "TTS PLEASE HELP, THE GIRLS ARE TRYING TO KIDNAPP ME, ISSEI AND THE REST OF US!!"
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"Tell them if they do anything I will use the golden spoon." He says and hangs up, he looks at the readers. "Just a normal day in a harem protagonist life, shitty right?"
Well! Today's rant! Harems OH BOY I'M GONNA GO FULL METAL ON THIS!
One of the most popular tag in this fucking wasteland! Were the MOST AMOUNT OF SHIT gathers!
If ya'll think is already hard trying to find diamonds in Wattpad, oh boy, it's almost impossible to find anything god with harem tag, and trust me, I've searched a lot!
In harems you can find anything!
From fanficts, to crossovers where even your mom becomes a reincarnation of the MC!
Oh boy the harems MC's...
Let me tell you all something, the harems MC are the most FUCKING BORING, ANNOYING AND REPETITIVE THING IN THIS MOTHERFUCKING PLACE, NO, EVERYWHERE, NO MATTER WHERE YOU LOOK AT, YOU ONLY FIND PORN PORN AND M̸͉̮̖̬̤̻͍̤̳͉͒͐̇̌͂͌̐̿͆͝O̷͙̳̺̍́̓̊͌̄̑͗̇R̸̢̨̖̮̥̔͑͝E̷̩͙̾̿͐͒̄̋̊̓̄ ̷̨̧̧͓͎̮̫̘͉̲̊̀̌̆͛́̀̚F̸̟͎̳̀̋͆̐̅͐͑͛͘U̵̜͍͎͔͓̜̦͛̀͐͆̿͂C̴̤̰͈͍̘͚͖̜͍̓̉͂̂̍̊̓͐̾K̶̤̽Ị̴̗̭̥͊̆̒̓͝N̴̟͓̪̬̘̜̆͛́̈́G̵̬͚̫̹̟̮̉͒͆̔̆͒͋̑̀ ̸̛͖̩̔̆͒̈́̀̊̽͝P̵̘̗̭͍̗̙̳͎͍̳̀́̓͗̆̆̅̃̕Ǭ̴̲͕̯͇̥̖͕̤̌͆̉̀͝͝͝͝R̶͚͉̟͔̫̥͗̔̓Ǹ̷̤͚͂̌̽̃.
THESE FUCKING AUTHORS CAN KEEP THEIR FUCKING PANTS IN CHECK, NO, THEY NEED TO MAKE THE MC A GODDAMN GOD OF SEX, A POWERHOUSE EVEN THE FUCKING MOST POWERFULL ENTITY IN ALL OF FICTION SHITS THEMSELVES.
EITHER BECAUSE THEIR STUPID ALWAYS RED AND BLACK POWERS ARE BULLSHIT STRONG, NO REASON.
THEY ADD A SHIT-TON OF UNINTERESTING LORE TO THEIR CHARACTERS, I DON'T GIVE A FUCK THAT YOUR MC'S LINEAGE IS MADE ENTIRELY OF UNIVERSE FUCKING ENTITIES.
EVEN CHARACTERS LIKE MOTHERFUCKING MINETA ARE KRATOS LEVEL CHARACTERS COMPARED TO THESE FUCKING SELF INSERTS CALLED MALE READERS AND OCS.
BECAUSE THESE FUCKS DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT'S A FUCKING OC, IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE YOU DUMBASS, IT'S SHOULDN'T BE THAT.
YEAH, YOU HEAD ME, FUCKING TOAD SKYWALKER, YOU CAN GO AND STICK YOUR 900 SHITTY STORIES DEEP UP YOUR SELF CENTERED ASS.
NOT ONLY HIM, BUT MOST OF THESE AUTHORS.
Taking a deep breath TheThotSlayer slams his skull on the table, taking a snort of powdered milk. "YEAAAAAAAAAAAH!!"
...Let's start with the basics, harems are when a bunch of girls with really low standards fall in love with one male who's brain is usually made of tungsteng.
Sometimes Harems are "funny haha" Slice Of Life stories... That aren't "funny haha".
Other times are actions, where the MC is always an overpowered dumbass.
And this in mangas and other bullshit.
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Oh but in Wattpad!
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Fuck mercy, fuck being calm, this fucking tag has made me hate this place with a PASION.
ALWAYS THE SAME FUCKING SHIT AGAIN AND AGAIN, OVERPOWERED OR USELESS MC THAT SOMEHOW MANAGES TO MAKE EVERY FUCKING FEMALE FALL FOR HIM EVEN WHEN HIS FACE LOOKS LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT THAT WAS IGNITED ON FIRE AND DUMPED RADOACTIVE WASTE ON THEM, LIKE THIS.
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YES, THIS TYPE OF FACES AREN'T EVEN GOOD, THEIR FUCKING CHINS ARE A BLOODY TRIANGLE FOR FUCKS SAKE.
OH, AND LET'S NOT FORGET THAT THEIR PERSONALITIES ARE ALWAYS THE SAME, EITHER A FUCKING WHITE KNIGHT WHO HATES EVERY PERVERT IN THE WORLD, TREATING THEM LIKE THEY'RE RAPISTS, AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY? THE AUTHOR IS A FUCKING PERVERT, AFTER ALL HE'S MAKING A FUCKING HAREM STORY.
THEY'RE A PERFECT WHITE KNIGHT, OR A SAD FUCKBOY WHO LOOKS LIKE A SUBMISSIVE FEMBOY FROM SOME GAY BULLSHIT.
Suddenly Ruby opens the door. "TTS, my team and I are going to take a walk around the city, want to jo-." Suddenly a exact copy of Gut's sword is stabbed fight besides her, almost hitting her head, she could only look how TTS is lifting his coutch with his hand and slaming his TV multiple times with it, she slowly closes the door and walks away.
AND YA'LL KNOW WHAT'S WORSE THAN NORMAL HAREMS? HAREM FANFICTION, BECAUSE IN MOST OF THEM THEY ALWAYS BREAK CHARACTERS LEFT AND RIGHT, MAKING THEM BULLIES, ABUSIVE OR JUST STRAIGHT UP ASSHOLES, JUST TO MAKE THE MC THE GOOD GUY!
LET'S SEE HOW MANY HAREM CHAPTERS THIS STORY HAS! 18 FUCKING CHAPTERS, 1̶̛̗͒̈́̈̀̀̽͠8̷͎̣̋̇́̈́̐̌͘͝.
WHY MAKE AN INTERESTING STORY, WHEN ALL YOU CAN DO IS MAKE THE MC FUCK EVERY GIRL IN FICTION?!
BECAUSE IN THE END ALL THESE FUCKING FICS ARE JUST PORN WITH EXTRA STEPS, BECAUSE THERE ARE PEOPLE WITH WEIRD KINKS THAT LIKE TO JERK OFF WITH FUCKING WORDS!
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"Phew! I feel unusually relaxed now!" TTS says as the entire house is destroyed and in flames.
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[At this point I don't care anymore if I offend someone, they can kiss my ass, neither if Wattpad bans me for being Toxic, because I'm not gonna lie, comparing with Seumadrugs and omegahunter34e I'm actually aggressive.]
[And I don't regret it, I'm going to be the way I like, I don't care if people don't like it, I love myself, I'm great and should never feel like I'm worthless.]
[The same goes to you guys, be happy with youselves, life may be hard and shitty, but keep going foward, you guys are great and never be worthless or stupid. Take care of yourselves kings!]
"TTS out!" He says and gives the readers a thumbs up, then suddenly the ceiling falls on top of him. "SON OF A BI-"
