ENTANGLED STRINGS OF PAST

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Hazel Grey

I

 left his office before it was too late. I knew if I talked to him just a word more I would end up breaking myself again. I walked straight into the bathroom when I entered my room. The tears have already started coming out.

"I was taking care of you" his words still ringing through my head. Who does he think he is to play with my feelings?

I have taken care of myself my whole life, people came into my life and said those pretty words but always used me and left me to rot in that hell. Now I will not let anyone use me again! I will not let anyone or him control me!

I looked into the mirror, "I am not weak" I reminded myself. I washed my tears away and came out of the bathroom.

I do not know what will tomorrow but one thing that I know is that if he tried to control me again, I will pack my things and fucking leave this place. If he thinks I cannot escape from here then he is wrong, I AM STAYING HERE BECAUSE I WANT TO!

As I was thinking of all this, Mary knocked and entered my room. I was already very frustrated from my conversation with Aiden; I did not want to talk to her.

"Hey! I was just getting bored so I thought to talk to you," she said in her usual fun tone. I was not interested in entertaining her so I said; "Actually I'm tired right now Can we talk tomorrow" It was more like a statement than a question. "Please" she tried to convince me and it went wrong.

My frustration with her was more than Aiden's. "Can please stop it? Stop pretending that you want to befriend me?" I said controlling my anger. "What are you talking about?" she said acting confused.

"JUST STOP PRETENDING THAT YOU WANT TO BE FRIEND WITH ME! I know you are here because Aiden wants you to keep an eye on me but let me let you I am not a bay to keep an eye on!" I finally let it all go. "PLEASE STOP PLAYING WITH MY DAMN FEELINGS!" I said it straight to her mouth.

"haze I'm sorry to play with your feelings in starting and yes Aiden told me to keep an eye on you but trust after spending a day with you I genuinely want to be friends with you," she said in a calming tone, but I'm not going to fall for her shit. "FOR GODS SAKE WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP USING THAT NAME! I am HAZEL, only HAZEL," I said trying to control my tears. My granny and Jennet only used to call me haze.

"Okay Hazel I'm sorry but please hear me once," she asked. I was done with her and all the shit she said earlier.

"Can you please leave?" I started returning to my calm self. "Hazel if you don't want to be friends it is okay but remember that I was alone too in my whole life. I have also taken care of myself my whole life and did not let anyone close to me not even Terry or Aiden, but today, when I spent time with you, I saw myself in you. You amazed me with your knife fight and then with your fight with Danny. You were a person I wanted to befriend with me, I wanted to learn from you. Please take your time and think about it. Also, remember that I don't give a fuck about what Aiden told me to do, I do what I like to do," she said all she want to say and walked out after saying good night.

She went but left me many questions. WHO SHOULD I BELIEVE? I sat in my usual place on the balcony with my back sported to its glass door. I brought my legs to my chest and rested my head on my arms while watching the moon and stars.

I used to sit in silence, watch the moon, and cry while cursing my life but now even the tears have dried up. "Who should I believe?" I asked the universe in the hope that it would answer someday.

"When will all this end? When I will be happy again?" I kept asking, but only silence I got in return.

" I thought you were nyctophobic" I heard a light voice come from the door, I turned my head and found Aiden standing there with something in his hands.

"I am nyctophobic but sometimes darkness gave me peace that I am tired of finding in daylight," I said quietly.

He walked up to me, sat right in front of me, and put the thing on his side so that it would be visible in the moonlight.

It was the same teddy from the mall.

"You stared at it that day so I thought you like to buy it," he said lightly with a small smile on his face, which I could see in the moonlight. I did not say anything just stared at him.

Then he slid the teddy towards me and now it was between us. "I hope you like it," he said, "I'm not a kid anymore" I whispered, turning my attention from him to the moon again. I do not want to get emotional and cry in front of him. I am sick of crying!

"I know you are not but a kid is still inside all of us"

"Then I think mine died a long time ago," I said not meeting his eyes.

"There you are wrong, The kid inside you hasn't died he was just forced to grow up, but some part of it is still hiding somewhere inside you, You just need to let it out," he said and I met his blue eyes staring at me with hope.

" Why should I let it out?" I asked him. "Because it is killing you inside" he replies and it hurts more because he was right. "Who will take care of it? The world will kill it" I asked again, "Let me care for it, for you" he replied and I could feel the tears forming in my eyes. I am afraid I am falling for this. "Why are you caring so much?" I asked him. I want to know about him, I feel something between us.

"Because I know how it feels when you are forced to grow up. I know how it feels when you are forced to pretend that you are strong so that you can protect yourself from the world" he replied calmly as if remembering his childhood.

"Will you let it out?" I asked him. He stared into my eyes for some moments and said, "I was ten when my parents were killed" his eyes were showing emotions he hid so well on his face.

"I'm sorry," I said, "no it's not your fault," he said quietly, his eyes not leaving mine. "They were killed in front of me," he continued, and I listened. "I have nowhere to go, no one to ask help from but just an address and a name in my hands my mother gave me before dying; it was of my uncle, my only living relative on earth. My mother has cut all her ties with him because of his contacts with the underworld but told me to go to him when she was counting her last breaths. That night Terry had also run away from his abusive household and we both came to New York to find my uncle. That is how I entered this world," he finally told his truth.

"Now will you let it out?" he asked me Looking into my eyes for answers I stared into his eyes not knowing, if should I believe him.

Before I could come to any decision he said, "If you still don't want to tell, you can still tell me his story" he said smiling towards the teddy. As he said this, words already started forming in my mouth.

"I was nine when my granny died... my mother died after giving birth to me, so I was raised by my father until he went to another city for a job and married someone there. He left me with my granny. I spent most of my beautiful days with her. We were happy in our small world but, when she died, my happiness went with her. My father took me with him to his new family but when he saw I was not able to sleep and eat properly, he brought me a teddy; just like him" I pointed to the teddy lying between us, "I made him my only friend in that whole city and name him; pumpkin pie' because of his color" I completed first time telling him something close to me.

I shared everything with my teddy but left him behind when I ran away from my house, and that still pains me. Now it felt like Aiden returned me to my old friend and I was grateful for that. "let's name him, Mr. Pumpkin Pie" he said smiling and patting Teddy's head.

I did not want this night to end. I want to freeze the time at that moment. But no good lasts forever, I reminded myself and with that, we heard a gunshot; a loud and clear one.

We both got up leaving Mr. Pumpkin Pie and our truths at that moment.