Hollow

Chapter 29

"Long time no see, Hollow." Miss Minooka said, patting down the seat across from her.

I smiled, trying to be nice. I honestly hated coming here.

"How are you doing lately?"

"I'm doing fine, how are you doing?" I politely answered.

"Well, honestly I'm a bit upset that I haven't heard from you in awhile, Mary has been keeping me in touch with things that are happening with you at the moment. "

Why do you care? I thought. I still kept the same smile, I didn't say anything though.

"So you met your dad, huh?" She asked.

I nodded.

"Well.. how is it? That must be wonderful!"

"It's alright." I said, looking at the time.

She seemed to notice that, she looked a bit upset.

"Sorry," I said. "I'm just a bit tired today."

She shook her head. "Hollow I know you probably hate coming here, but it's actually refreshing to take your mind off things.

"You started opening up before, but now it's like we are back to square one." She said.

"Honestly, we are back to square one mainly because I'm not in grief anymore." I said fidgeting with my fingers.

"Well.. you probably don't think you are in grief.. It's been seven months-"

"Nah." I interrupted. "I recently found out my Ma'am was two faced, and she was the reason why I felt so abandoned and lonely and different for my entire life, she hid me completely unnecessary, just for her own benefit." I crossed my arms.

"Why would I give someone the satisfaction of grieving for them, after everything she did to me."

Dr. Minooka didn't say anything. She just nodded.

"You don't miss her at all?" She asked.

I shook my head, "Who cares, whatever little love I feel now I'm blocking it out. "

"Why do you feel like you have to do that?"

"Because, she doesn't deserve it." I answered.

"Hollow, it doesn't matter if she doesn't deserve it or not, you control how you feel. If you miss her, you can. If you genuinely don't, then you don't. It seems like you are forcing it." She said.

"With all due respect, I don't think that you understand how I am feeling." I answered back.

She didn't say anything.

"I mean, I don't mean to be rude or anything.. But what I'm really trying to say is that I wouldn't be saying this to hate on her or anything, it's all the truth."

"You sure about that?" She asked.

I nodded.

"You never think about the times where you guys would hang out, or laugh together? You never think about her voice, or the way she does things, the things she taught you?" She asked.

"Look me in the eye and tell me you don't miss her, a little bit."

"Why are you doing this? Why are you trying to make me feel my grief?" I asked.

"It can't end like that. " She said. "Greif is something you have to overcome, not push away."

I shook my head, "I hate her more than I love her, I might as well push it away."

"No." She said. "If you want to stop loving her, you can probably try remembering everything, and then let it go."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Here's one more thing I want you to do, the only way to overcome your grief for good, is to take a day to think about everything, retrace everything you both have been through. Take it into perspective, and then you can let those thoughts go."

"What happens after that?" I asked.

"You can think what you would like to think about her, but your grief may be over after that. I just feel as if you have some unresolved thoughts. You cannot hate her completely after all of the time you spent together, and you claimed she treated you good, I understand what she did to you, and i understand that you can feel hatred for her, but I want you to try to get to that hatred, instead of just... immediately feeling it, by feeling like thats the right thing."

The timer went off.

She turned off her timer, and smiled at me.

"Looks like our time is up... so are our sessions." She said.

"What?" I asked. "Why?"

"Mary agrees and would like to stop paying for our sessions, she feels as if you are getting a bit better. And so do I.. after you go over your thoughts. "

Dr Minooka came up to me and gave me a hug. "It was great getting to know you, Hollow."

I hugged her back. "Thank you." I said.

"Remember, though." She said. "If you don't do that last step, your grief is not over."