Levi x Reader One-shots

Memoirs of a Survivalist - AU!Levi x Reader

30th August 2092

Fuck. Things just keep getting worse. I either can't sleep or have nightmares. Why didn't I just die out with the rest of them? What did I do that would make me deserve of this punishment? It must've been bad. Maybe it was that time I stole someone's pen in middle school then told them it was mine.

Shit. Sorry for stealing your pen, John. Can this end now?

25th December 2092

What do you get for a man who's already got everything? Guns, traps, medicine, food, shelter. I managed to salvage some whiskey from a convenience store while I was travelling here. I think it was a convenience store. Not that it matters now.

I drank as much of it as I could before I threw up. I put my gun in my mouth, but I still couldn't do it. I chickened out. Again.

I'm a fucking coward. Can't even shoot myself when I'm drunk.

Happy 25th birthday, Levi, you goddamn disgrace.

3rd March 2094

I met a girl today. [First], her name was. She crawled out of her vault after radiation leaked into it. She tells me the other residents started showing signs of changing, and she fled. She hasn't shown any signs of radiation sickness yet. I'll have to keep an eye on her.

At least she's human. She's not too bad on the eyes, either.

15th July 2094

I've been teaching [First] how to use a gun. She's gotten the hang of it so far. I also showed her a thing or two about trap-making; she surprised me when she revealed she has extensive knowledge on technology. She used her skills and what I taught her to make an electrical fence. We haven't had much trouble with intruders since then.

I recently lent her some old Armour I scavenged from a raider. Female raider. About her size, too. I was going to strip it down, use it for extra resources. Could always use some more cloths. This place is filthy. I gave it to her instead, and goddamn does she fill it out.

20th September 2094

What the fuck am I doing? I'm such a goddamn idiot. I don't deserve this. I don't deserve [First]. I kissed her tonight. I did more than kiss her. She let me. She told me she loved me. Now she's asleep, naked and vulnerable, in my bed. I showed her a side of me only this damn journal knows.

I've killed people. I've put my survival in front of others. I don't deserve [First]. I don't deserve her love. I don't deserve any love.

God save me, I think I'm falling.

16th August 2095

I love her. Goddamn it I love her. I love the way my name rolls off her tongue, the way she says "Levi" just sounds so right coming from her. I love her mind. I love how she keeps me company. I love how she feels under my fingers. I love how she tastes when I kiss her. I love the color of her hair, her eyes, her skin. I even love that stupid smug way her lips quirk up when she acts like a smartass.

I hate it when we have to leave our safehouse. I hate it when she goes places, I can't see her. Dangerous places. I hate it when other survivors ogle and belittle her. Male survivors. They treat her like a piece of meat. They don't end up surviving very long in my company.

I've lost myself. She's more important than me, now.

24th October 2096

I've never been more terrified in my life.

The end of the world wasn't scary. When I knew my friends were dead, I had nothing to be frightened of anymore.

The ghouls lurking outside my cave weren't scary. They were easy prey. I picked them off with my rifle or led them into my traps.

The raiders at Megaton weren't scary. I was prepared to meet my end; I dared them to be the one to make it. But I ended up coming out of it alive anyway.

[First] is pregnant. I'm a father, at age 29. I don't know if this is too sudden or too late. I know I don't want to raise a family in a cave. I know I don't want my child to only know that life equates to survival. I want to give them the life they deserve. I wanted to give [First] the big wedding she always wished for. But she told me she didn't care for it anymore, as long as it was me. My wife lowered her standards to a level she shouldn't have to, and my child will too.

I'm scared for what they'll have to face.

26th May 2097

He would've been a boy. We would've named him Elijah. I would've given him everything that I could get my hands on. Anything he wanted. [First] would've wanted that. She never woke up from the sedatives.

I buried them both, next to each other. Right across the entrance. I can see the marks I left on their graves as I'm writing this.

I think I can do it now. Blow my fucking brains out all over this goddamn cave.

A/n: in case I did a shitty job explaining these are the journal entries of Levi who a (suicidal) survivor of the apocalypse and lives in is saves and sets up traps and eventually comes across the reader. they fall in love, get married, Boink and then the reader gets pregnant. reader and baby both die, and Levi finally commits suicide. (907 words)