make-believe | jason newsted

xxxi

chapter thirty one: a reminder

Her feelings hadn't passed over at all. It only made her feel worse.

Keeping things inside like she usually did wasn't helping. Her doubts had turned from her insecurities into worry about the future and her relationship with Jason. 

He noticed that Valencia wasn't acting like her usual self. She was quieter and wanted to stay home more often. He thought nothing of it at first, but started to worry as time went on. 

One night, Jason and Valencia sat on the couch together, watching a movie. He noticed that she wasn't paying much attention to the movie, her mind elsewhere.

"Something wrong, my love?" Jason whispered, causing her to lift her head from his shoulder and look at him. It was rare to see her upset, so he could tell something was wrong. 

She sighed and picked at the fabric of the couch, trying to figure out how to phrase her doubts to him. She didn't want to keep things from him and knew he meant well. The problem was getting it out. 

"Jason, I feel like maybe...maybe Drew was right about some of the things he said about me that night." Valencia spoke quietly, her gaze still focused on the fabric beneath them.

"What? Absolutely not," Jason replied almost right away, annoyance tinged in his voice. He wasn't annoyed with her, just the fact that he had gotten in her head like this. "Are you being serious?"

When he saw her nod her head, he felt his heart ache. In his eyes, she was too pretty to ever be feeling like this. She was perfect and he made sure she knew all the time. What happened now?

Jason sighed, taking her hand gently into his. "Look at me," She lifts her head to look at him, her face a mixture of sadness and nervousness. "May I ask why you feel like that?"

She let out a heavy sigh before responding to him. "I just feel like you need someone more stable. Someone who isn't as crazy or out there like I am, you know? It's not always a good thing..." She explains.

He didn't understand how someone wouldn't want to be with someone like her. She was pretty, funny, and sweet. There was nothing wrong with her in the slightest, and she could do no wrong.

"Val, I don't understand. I like you for you, what makes you think that I need someone better?" He asks, afraid of where this question was going. He didn't want to lose her because of self-doubt.

"I'm not an expert at what you do, but I'm sure you have priorities. I don't want to take you away from that." Her voice lowered. "I don't want to be holding you back because I don't know how to act right."

Jason shook his head. "You have nothing to worry about. There's no one else I want to be with, I'm with you forever." He whispered the last part, making sure she knew that he meant it.

"Oh gosh, forever," Valencia sighed deeply. "And that's another thing. Maybe later on down the line, you'll realize you made a mistake being with me." She buried her face in her hands.

Valencia took a deep breath. She had a secret that she wanted to tell Jason for the longest time, but she simply didn't know how. He had a right to know, he deserved the truth.

Jason could tell that whatever it was, it was hard for her to come clean. "Valencia, what's wrong?" He asked, concern laced in his voice. He had no idea what was coming next.

"Jason," She took a deep breath. "You want a future with me, but I mean...I can't even have kids." She confessed, looking down at her lap nervously to avoid seeing Jason's reaction.

Jason was shocked to hear her say that. Out of all the things she was having feelings of doubt about, he didn't expect that to be a part of it. "You can't have kids? At all?" He asked quietly.

Valencia nodded and sighed. This wasn't the first time she had to tell someone she liked about this, and she knew what was coming next. Jason was going to leave, just like all the other guys she had confessed to.

Tears built in her eyes as she thought about it, shaking her head. "Look, Jason, I'm sorry. I just wanted to be honest because—"

"What are you apologizing for? It's not your fault." Jason interrupted her.

Valencia froze, shocked to hear that kind of response from him. She looked at him, tears beginning to fall from her cheeks. "What?" 

Jason sighed, his thumb gently wiping tears away. "It's not your fault that you can't have kids," He explained, looking in her eyes. "And to be honest, it doesn't matter to me." 

She almost broke down right in front of him. It was the first time that someone had even given her the chance, the reassurance that her issue wasn't a bad thing. 

"Valencia, I like you for you, okay? Nothing else," He says, rubbing her shoulder to soothe her. "There is nothing about you that I don't like, you're the best thing to ever happen to me."

A small smile formed on her lips as she finally managed to look back at Jason, sniffling through her tears. "Yeah? You mean that?" She asked.

"Of course I mean it," He nods. "So don't let some asshole bring you down like this, alright? It's not worth it." He rubbed her back, making sure she understood how much he deeply felt for her.

They shared a loving embrace, with Jason whispering sweet nothings that reaffirmed the love he had for her.