Scared To Love You Again

37

Leila

It's been a while since I've seen or heard from Damian. I know Nia said he needed some time, but a month is ridiculous. He still won't answer my calls. I've tried going to his apartment, but Fernando kept telling me he hasn't seen Damian either. I've gone to the club, then the gym and the same exact things were said. "Damian's on vacation." This shit ain't adding up. Something's wrong. I called his mom instead. "Still nothing, mama?"

"Nothing at all, baby. He's been ducking and dodging me as well as Angelo and his brothers. No one knows where he is. I know when I do catch him, that's his ass. Don't worry, baby, we'll find him. You know how he gets when he's really upset. He tends to fall off the grid sometimes."

I sniffled. "Yeah, I do."

"Have you tried calling any of his friends? Or coworkers?"

Oh God. Why haven't I thought about that? I've been so busy wallowing in my sorrows, I didn't think to call his best friend. "Mama, I'm gonna call you back."

"Okay, sweetheart. Keep us updated. We're gonna keep looking. We love you."

My heart warms hearing her comforting words. "I love y'all, too." The call ends and I dial for Trey's number.

It rings twice until he finally picks up. "What's good, Lei?"

"Hey, Trey I'm so sorry to bother you. Have you seen Damian? Or at least heard from him at all?"

He's quiet at first. "Uhh, yeah. He's been... staying here at my crib."

I take a deep breath before more tears fall out. "Is he there with you right now? Can I talk to him please?"

The phone goes silent for a minute. "Leila." The sound of his voice makes my heart heavy. Thank God he's okay.

"Damian?" I cried. "Damian, baby, are you okay? I've been looking for you."

"I'm okay, baby. We need to talk. Meet me at my apartment in an hour." Before I could say anything else, he hangs up the phone.

.........

The doors slide open to Damian's penthouse. "Damian?" I shouted looking around to find him. He shows up from one of the bedrooms in sweats and a wrinkly shirt. His hair is messy and his eyes carry dark marks as if he hasn't slept in days. Is this because of me? I must've really hurt him. "Damian!"
I screamed, crushing myself into his big arms.

I pulled away. "Baby, I'm so sorry. I swear on my life I didn't know he was gonna do that. I had sex with him once but that was before I found out you were outta jail. I haven't done anything else with him ever since you came back into my life." I rest my palms on his face. "Damian, I love you. I only love you, baby, I swear."

He takes a deep breath, grabbing my hands from his face and then locking them into his. "I love you, too."

"I never want you to think I'll have you out here looking stupid. I wanted to show you off, but then Antonio switched my painting out. I guess to be malicious-."

"Leila."

"And then all these people started boosting, making shit worse-."

"Leila."

"I know it looks bad on me because I should've told you, but I was scared and-."

"Baby!" He yelled, but not too loud. Enough for me to quit rambling. "I believe you. That's not why I called you over here though."

"What's wrong?"

He takes another deep breath and just stares at me. His expression reads broken and defeated. Damian tries to speak but no words come out.

"Baby, what's going on?"

He takes my hand and leads us to sit on the couch. He rests his elbows on his lap. Rubbing his face down in defeat. "I fucked up." He whispered.

"What?"

"I fucked up, Leila." He says again this time looking at me.

"What are you talking about?" My heart starts to race.

"I.... After I left you... that night, I went to meet up with Trey at a bar." His voice slowly cracks the more he speaks. "We had a few drinks and next thing I know... Naomi shows up. The last thing I can remember is..... waking up naked in her apartment. Two weeks later, she tells me.... Mi dice che è incinta."

Those words are like a stab to my chest. I slowly raise from the couch on shaky legs. "No... y-you're lying.... You're lying because the man I know...         w-wouldn't cheat on me....and get another bitch...   p-pregnant?" My voice cracks, too. I hold my stomach, preventing myself from vomiting. I'm feeling so dizzy that the air surrounding is growing lighter.

A tear falls from his eyes. "Baby, I'm sorry." He stands as well, walking towards me.

Once he's close, I start punching on his chest. "You're sorry? You left me alone and by myself to go fuck on that bitch!!! I needed you and you fuckin left me!! And now this bitch is pregnant and you're telling me you're sorry???"

He restrains me by my arms. "I fucked up, Lei. I know."

"Let me go." I cried.

"Baby... please..."

"Let me go, Damian!" I snapped.

He falls to his knees wrapping his arms around my bottom half. His head lays against my stomach. "Baby, I'm sorry. Please don't leave me. I can make this right." He begs and sobs. "I'm so sorry."

"I trusted you.... How could you do this to me?!" I got out of his grip and ran over to grab my purse from the floor. "I'm done with you!" I screamed getting into the elevator.

He pulls himself from the hardwood floor and chases after me. "Lei, please don't do this."

"No! You did this!" I'm already pressing hard at the elevator button for the doors to close. Come on. Come on.

"Baby, wait!" Damian gets closer as the doors finally begins to shut. Once their closed, I hear a loud bang on the opposite side causing one of the doors to dent from the inside. I slide my back down against the cold wall as tears begin to flood my vision.