Scared To Love You Again

39

Damian

I wonder what she's doing or if she's okay. It's been ten and a half months since I've seen Leila. Since that day any way. Domenico told me she quit her job at the club. When I tried to go to her apartment, Nia said she moved then slammed the door in my face. No one will tell me where she went off to. I can't even call her. She changed her number. She's not on social media so that's out of the question.

"Damian! Are you listening to me?" Naomi says raising her voice at me.

"What, Naomi?"

"Why is it that every time I'm talking to you, you trail off into space?"

"I'm not about to argue with you in front of my son."

"He can't comprehend no way."

"I don't care. Lower your fuckin' voice." I lay my son down into his bassinet and turn the button to rock him back to sleep. Once he was fully out, I exit his bedroom.

Naomi followed behind me down the stairs. I roamed through my kitchen to find a cup to pour my juice into. "So are we gonna talk now?"

I slammed the container of juice onto the counter. "What.. what the fuck is there to talk about, Naomi?" I asked aggressively.

"You never listen to me. What's your problem?" She folds her arms with an attitude.

"You! You're my fuckin' problem!"

"How could you say that? We have a baby together!"

"That's because your selfish ass trapped me." I turned my back on her.

"You're not the victim here! If you didn't want this baby you shouldn't have nutted inside me that night."

Slowing spinning back to face her. "You know, for once... you're right. That way, I wouldn't be standing here arguing or even looking at you! I'd still be with Leila!"

Her mouth flies open and a tear falls down her cheek. "You know what... I'm gonna pretend that I didn't hear you say that."

"That's fine. I can have it recorded and sent to your phone later."

"You're such an asshole." She snatched her stuff from the counter and disappeared into the elevator.

One of the baby monitors goes off, hinting my son's awake again. I jogged up the steps, back into his bedroom. "It's okay, Mateo. Daddy's got you now." I reassured, picking him up to cradled him in my arms. I carried us over to the rocking chair in the far corner. The sound of my voice slowly soothes him back to his slumber. I take a slow, deep breath while closing my eyes.

Flashback

"You really weren't gonna tell me?" I asked.

Leila expressed confusedly. "I didn't think I needed to."

"You didn't think you needed to tell me you were on the pill?"

"It's my body, Damian. You're not the one who has to carry a baby. I do!"

"You knew I always wanted a kid."

"Baby, I know, but we haven't discussed this fully. Plus, do you think we're in any position to have one right now?"

"Why not? The house is big enough."

"I'm not just talking about the house. Fuck? I'm not allowing my baby to live in a penthouse."

"What's wrong with it?" I questioned, looking around.

"What's wr- first of all, your apartment gives bachelor, you had a history of smut buckets that ran through here, and it's not even baby proof. Everything in here is literally breakable." She shakes her head. "That's not the point I'm getting at right now. "We just got back together. Meaning, we're still working things out, Damian."

I took a second and inhaled then exhaled softly. "You're right. You're right. I'm sorry, baby." I came around the counter to pull her in my arms.

"It's okay. Someday, we'll have have a baby. Its just gonna take some time."

"I'm probably not even fit to be a father anyways."

She looks up into my eyes. "Watch your mouth. Yes, you are. You know why? Because you're not selfish. You're strong, considerate, and extremely protective. Hell, even a sweet heart... when you wanna be."

We both chuckled.

"You'll make an amazing father one day Damian Alejandro Romano." She kissed me passionately.

The memory still draws a tear from my eye. I look down at my son whose sound asleep. "I'll make sure I'll get it right. Just for you, Mateo."