Scared To Love You Again

48

Damian

God, why you send this temptress my way? I remember when she used to be so sweet and shy. Now she's just a fucking demon. There's only so much I can take and she's pushing it. Ohhhh, but her pussy looks so fuckin good. I miss the way she tastes against my lips. I know she misses me, too, but she ain't about to have me begging like Keith Sweat. Nah, mama. I'll play along with her little game and we'll see who really gives in first.

"You so strong, big bro." Apollo drags out as I assist him to his suite on the other side of the hotel.

"Yeah, I know."

"How much you bench? I'm tryna get like you, maaan."

"Now's not the time, Pollo."

"You right.... You still don't fuck with me... I get it."

"We talked about this already. There's no need to bring it up again. I forgave you for throwing up on me, Apollo." I swiped his card to his room and we slightly stumble when he loses consciousness in his legs. "We're almost there, amico." I dragged him back up and plopped him on his bed.

He struggles to sit up. "That's not what I meant, Dame. You're my brother... I didn't mean to play you, man... I look up to you. I always have. I was jealous when mama first brought you in, but all that changed when you started looking out for me. You've fought for me, lied for me, and took ass whoopins because of me... you even cared for my own s-." He drops his head down. "I'm just saying, I'll never be... half the man as you are."

I tucked my hands in my pockets, listening as his words sync through my ears. I know he's probably not gonna remember this tomorrow, so I'm just gonna let him finish.

"You've always had Leila. Dom got Mani and Rome has Nia. Who do I have? I just wanted someone, too but... went about it the wrong way. That bitch caught me when I was vulnerable and now I'm stuck with her for life. I thought she would love me... the same way y'all women love on y'all."

I rest my hand on his shoulder. "Apollo... you have a son that adores you. I know, because I see the way he looks at you. Be the father he needs. Don't ever abandon him just because his mother won't love you and that she's a piece of shit. One day, your wife will come. You just gotta wait, but until then your main focus is Mateo." I tap him twice. "Get some sleep."

He nods then falls back against the plumped pillows. "Fuck." I whispered. I feel bad for Apollo. He didn't know what he was getting into when he was dealing with Naomi. I just wish he would've came to me sooner. As much as I would enjoy the pleasure of breaking every bone in her soulless body, I can't allow that to happen. Every child needs their mother and I don't wanna have to put my s- nephew through that type of pain.

After I dropped Apollo off, I sat outside Leila's room door, contemplating for twenty minutes whether or not I should give in to her witchcraft. So, I just went back to my room and watched her video at least fifteen times. This may be harder than I thought. She got me fidgeting like a crackhead over here. Leila:2 Damian: 0

......

"Where have you been, boy?" Her terrifying tone of voice knocks me off balance as I tiptoed my way in though the back door.

"I went to go hang out with a friend." I lied.

She takes a hard swig from her bottle of Jack without taking her eyes off me. "What I tell you about having friends, Damian? They're a waste. Just like you."

I hold back from crying, because I know if I show any ounce of weakness she'll just hit me again. "But I- I get lonely s-sometimes."

"Being alone is what makes you stronger. I tell you to be in this house by 5 yet you continue to disobey me."

"B-but I was only a minute late, mom." I said with my head hanging low to the floor, avoiding her menacing gaze. I feel her slowly approaching me in this dim lighting. My heart races because I know what's to come next. She back hands me with such aggressive force.

"You're so disrespectful! All you do is talk back. If I tell you to do something, you fucking do it! Wait until your father gets home! Emilio is gonna have his time with you."

I quickly grab her hand. "No, please don't tell him. I swear I won't do it again. I'm sorry. I promise I'll do better next time. Please."

She snatched her hand away. "You're always sorry! You're just a sorry excuse for a son. You can never do right. Hell, you break everything you touch. The only way for you to be better is to be disciplined."

A couple of tears pour down my cheeks.

"Are you really crying? You're so damn weak, Damian. Real men don't cry. How will you expect anyone to love you when all you do is cry and complain? No one's gonna want to put up with you. I don't even wanna put up with you. Not your father and for damn sure not your sister. You need to understand that only the strong are to be respected and the weak are to be tormented."

My father walks in right after and notices the look on my mother's face. He reads her expression closely without even exchanging a word. Instantly he faces me then drops his keys on the table and cracks both his knuckles.

.......

I woke up immediately from another night terror. My body's sweating and my heart's pounding like it's about to burst out of my chest. "Fuck." I looked at the time and it's 4am. I rose from my bed and sat on the edge to calm my breathing. I try to call Leila to see if she's up, but there's no answer. I throw on some sweats to go to the lobby and see if they have any tea. Once I opened my door, I find Leila midway getting ready to knock on my door.

"Hey." She softly greets.

"Hey."

"I couldn't sleep." She's dressed up in her bonnet, a white tank top, and purple booty shorts. She's even wearing the matching fuzzy bear slippers to go with it. "Were you about to head out?"

"Yeah, uh, to the lobby. For some tea. Wanna join?"

"Mhm." She smiles. We walked side by side in silence downstairs. There's no one else around, just us. "You're sweating."

"Yeah."

"Those nightmares again?"

I nod my head.

"I'll grab the tea for you."

"Thank you, baby." I sat at one of the tables in the breakfast room. I rest my head in my hands until I feel Leila brush her palm against my skin. Letting me know she's finished with my tea.

"Here you go." I graciously accept as she gently placed the side of her head on my naked shoulder. We sat in silence for a couple of minutes until I hear her utter a few words. "I missed you, too, Damian."My breathing is much calmer now as she rubs her hand up and down my arm. Later that morning, I had Leila laying comfortably in my arms as we both drifted off soundly to sleep.