Smoke Break /Georgenotfound/

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I had stopped crying for a little while, but my cheek was still pressed against his now wet shirt, his hand was still gently nestled in my hair, and the comforting silence was still loud.

Even though all of my problems would be solved if I stayed like that forever, I pulled away from the hug to take a sip of the tea he made for me. It was cold by the time I remembered about it. Because I felt dehydrated and the it was just the right temperature for me to not get burnt, I downed the whole cup.

"Do you want more? I can get you more." He said, and even though I'd love to have something to drink, I shook my head. I simply didn't want him to leave. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah."

Saying that was easier than trying to explain to him that I wasn't feeling better, but at the same time, I was feeling so much better.

"Wanna talk about it?" He was so gentle and patient with his words that I felt bad denying every single thing he offered.

I shook my head, "It's okay."

"I think you'll feel much better if you do, but if you're not comfortable, it's totally okay." He softly suggested again, and I shrugged, not knowing if there was anything I could tell him.

I couldn't find a specific reason behind my tears, and even if I tried to pinpoint a few things, I think half of the options would be revolving around him.

"I'm just sad, that's all," I said with a sniffle, pulling my pillow onto my lap to hug it. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I just feel sad and anxious and unmotivated... ugh, I don't know, I'm sorry."

The more I spoke, the more frustration seemed to take over. Perhaps it was because I was gradually realizing that the man sitting in front of me, trying to comfort me, was a significant factor in why I felt this way.

"It's totally fine to feel like that sometimes. But if you feel that way constantly and it's bothering you, then we should do something about it."

I was so desperate for him that the fact he used the word 'we' instead of 'you' made me feel loved. I lowered my head after his words, and he reached out to place his hand on top of mine, offering silent comfort.

"I don't know how to stop it," I admitted, feeling embarrassed to look up. Instead, I kept my gaze on his hand, observing how his fingers gently caressed my skin. "I just feel sad, but I can't find a reason."

"Don't look for the reason why you're sad then. Try to find a reason to be happy."

"And then what?"

"And then try to focus on that," he cupped my hand, "for example, I remind myself that at the end of the day, I'll be here to see you. And it makes me happy, it motivates me."

His words made me finally look up at him, muttering softly, "Really?"

"Yeah. You make me so happy, Aria, and you don't even have to do anything. Like you can just exist and make me happy." There was a hint of sadness on his face when he smiled, and it radiated over me, his words squeezing bittersweet lemons in my eyes. I blinked rapidly to hold back the new batch of tears.

"You make me happy too, George," I pouted, turning my face away from him as a few teardrops fell from my eyes.

"How am I supposed to believe that after you said it with a miserable voice and started crying?" He joked, and I couldn't help but laugh softly through the tears, "That's better, there we go."

"See, you really do make me happy." My hands came up to my cheeks, wiping them for the millionth time today and feeling how sore my skin was already.

"I'm trying my best."

I wanted to hug him and never let go so bad that it almost felt like I was going insane. I had never felt this way about anyone before, Nd I didn't even have the words to describe the feeling. Before I could spend another lifetime staring at his face and daydreaming, I looked away.

"So, are you actually sick, or were you lying?" He narrowed his eyes, making me press my lips into a line.

"Sorry," I giggled, my throat dry from swallowing all those salty tears.

"Wow, I'm an idiot," there was something funny about his tone, "I was so convinced that I even made you tea."

"I drank the tea, so.." I smiled, "and it was a good tea."

"You're probably just trying to make me feel better about being an idiot." He shook his head, not being able to hide the smile, "But thank you, I appreciate it."

"You're welcome, Gogy- George!"

I bit my tongue immediately.

I watched his videos so often, and his friends called him Gogy so much that I naturally adopted it without even realizing. If it hadn't been for his hand suddenly freezing on top of mine and his eyebrows shooting up in surprise, I might not have even noticed my slip.

Once again, I looked away. But this time - in terror. "George. Thank you, Geor- no, you're welcome, George."

And I was back proving myself that I shouldn't speak to people after midnight.

I wish I was six feet under right now, cause the hole I just dug up for myself was even deeper than that.

"What did you just call me?" He asked, eyes narrowing at me.

"I.. uhm.. George..?" I was trying to convince both of us that whatever just happened didn't actually happen.

"Yeah?" One single word was loaded with so much skepticism that it was enough for me to understand that he heard me loud and clear.

"Y..yeah." I bit my lip, anxiously looking at him and waiting for a confrontation.

"Alright," he nodded, then quickly changed the topic. "You seem tired, you should really get some sleep.
Slurring your words and shit..."

"Yeah, definitely. I should." I eagerly agreed with him, wishing that my sleep would be permanent.

My heart sank when he got up from my bed and started walking away. I thought he was leaving. But when I realized that he went to turn off the lights, I sighed in relief. Not to be dramatic, but I don't think I'd survive the night alone with my thoughts.

He joined me in my bed, taking care to adjust our positions. He leaned his back against the pillow, creating a cozy space for me between his legs. I nestled my body there happily, my cheek resting against his chest right over his heartbeat as his arms enveloped me.

"So that I never ever see you cry like that again, okay?" He pressed my head closer to his chest, the sound of his heart intensifying my own.

"I'll make sure you don't," chuckling, I made a promise which was more realistic and easier to keep.

"I hope you don't mind me staying over for a few days then."

"What?"

"You do?"

"No."