Gonner I'm a Zombie

2: Vitriol's Most Interesting Afternoon of the Week

"So what didya want, exactly?"

Vitriol, still the eccentric—and at this point in time, high—hermit, absentmindedly glanced at his guests. One of whom was leading the conversation, the other who was apparently "supervising".

Gonner looked exactly the same as he always had since the day he died.

And that was exactly the problem.

"I wanta know if I can go back and live a bit long'r."

Vitriol scratched the wire-y fluff on his chin. "Whelp... Ah don't think that's enough information to get a yes or a no. See, Ah can't do nothing like that unless Ah know why so we can make a fairer trade-off."

Gonner, seeing as how Isis was right next to him eying his every move, tried not to show his nervousness as he spoke. "I want t'have an old'r body. Nobody takes a kid pirate zombie seriously! I mean, we be taken a bit seriously with Nebulosa, but that was Dixie doin' all o' the work!"

Isis stayed cool and raised her hand. "It's the same on my end, sir. Not only am I too immature-looking to be considered of any use, I'm too small to actually do anything that could help specific tasks. I don't care so much about a longer time alive, I'd just prefer a better body to work with in the afterlife."

Gonner cursed internally.

He had never been as good with words as Isis. And he envied how well she could articulate her thoughts while he struggled so much explaining why he was embarrassed about something.

Like, right now.

Vitriol hummed. "You know, there's a trade off to this whole thing. If you don't want anything complicated or messy, why don't ya ask the bearer of the Azoth for that?"

Isis glanced his way as if to ask: "Well? Why not?"

Gonner looked down. "She, I don't want her thinkin' it be because o' somethin' else. I don't she'd be pleased with us askin' her to rig our deaths for anoth'r time." He probably meant to say "doubt" instead of "don't".

Isis accepted it as a reasonable answer. At least, it looked like she did.

"M'kay. So here's the trade-off." He slurred his speech a little, and his eyes looked watery, but both zombies tried to ignore it. "You live an extra how many years, you experience more hardship during those years, and your death is a little more painful. But, you do get an older body down here."

That didn't sound too bad considering what they actually wanted.

"Understood, I'm still in, sir." Isis tried to hide her nervousness. Paranoid that there was a real catch that he missed that would completely wreck her interest.

Then again... This would be a high cost to anyone who simply wanted to spend more time with their families who were still alive.

Gonner and Isis didn't want that, though.

They just wanted to be older than thirteen and fourteen when they died.

They liked their current bodies okay, but...

"I'm sorry, I don't know how to soften this, but I'm too old to be with you."

"But, I'm old'r than ye, me hearty."

"Yeah, but I look older, and you were like, thirteen when you died. It—It just feels wrong."

Gonner couldn't argue with Dixie.

He didn't want to argue with Dixie.

Her feelings were valid, as much as Gonner hated it in the moment.