First Kisses Are Never Forgotten

Chapter 31

ADDISON

I'm standing naked in front of this man, who is waiting for me to say something, do something.

Maybe cover myself, say anything or even go to my room. I know he thinks I'll do something like those things. He thinks I'll run away from him, push him away. He thinks I'm disgusted by him. Or even ashamed. He thinks I'll judge him.

I want to say something to clear up the fearful look in his eyes, but all I can do is break for him.

I feel my heart shatter for him, my mind and soul are breaking for the man who has built so many emotional walls because he can't forgive himself. Guilt for potentially causing pain to his loved one, worthlessness because he was going to choose the easy way out. Hopelessness because he thinks he died that day and he hates himself for it.

All those unforgiving and regretful walls surround him because he suffered a major trauma, and thought about suicide.

He isn't weak or a coward. He is a fighter and a survivor. He lived through his worst and pulled himself up.

He got his life back and more. He's doing his comeback, expanding his company and he's so loving and caring to his friends and family. He's just not seeing that. He can't see all the good because he can't forgive himself for the bad.

He must be so tired living like this. I wish I could go back in time and help him then. I wish I could kiss all his wounds away. I wish I could do anything and everything to make him see how good he really is. But it is not that easy. I can't do it. He needs to forgive himself.

He is not selfish. He made me feel the most alive I have felt in those couple of months than I have ever felt in my whole life.

I take a step forward, and stand on my toes. I hold his face between my hands and kiss him. This kiss is not rough or hungry like the others. It's soft and healing. I lean in his tender touch, and I can feel our pain ease while we hold each other tightly.

I pull my head back and try to take a step back, but he doesn't let go of me, as if I will run, vanish from in his arms. I pull my head back, but stay in his hold.

"Aaron?"

"Mhm." He's looking at my lips with a pained expression on his face.

"What stopped you?"

He takes a deep breath and looks in my eyes. "Joey."

A faint smile covers my face, I will love this kid forever.

"I was...I was about to go into the tub." My heartaches again when I imagine him preparing the bathtub. I feel the suffering and misery from Aaron's voice rushing straight into my soul.

"My phone pinged." He huffs a miserable laugh, "My 4 year old niece saved my life. She sent me a voice message for my birthday.

Telling me she loved me, her favorite person. She said she'll see me tomorrow, and that I have to eat cake with her like I promised. I always keep my promises, Addison."

A tear sheds and runs across his face. I swipe it with my finger and hold him closer to me. "I saw her the next day and she made me promise to do something else, so I lived another day for her. The promises kept going, so did my life." I feel him shake against me. He hugs me with all his strength, and I hug him back.

I put all my 'I wish I was there' in this hug. I put all my unspoken words that I wanted to tell him this past week, these past months in this hug. I put all the 'I'm sorry this happened to you' in our hug. I put every goddamn emotion I have for Aaron in this hug. I want him to feel everything I'm feeling for him. I wish this hug will fix everything, but I know he needs to do something else. Do this.