First Kisses Are Never Forgotten

Chapter 41

AARON

I lift my head up at the sound of banging on my door. Who bangs like this?

I walk over from the coach that I have stuck my body to these last few days and open the door.

My week has been hell. A replay of every moment from my break-up with Addison is on loop in my mind. My dreams are back as sweet dreams of Addison but end up being a nightmare again when I remember what I did.

I have been drowning since that day in a sea of my own despair and heartbreak. I go to matches and visit my family. I go to work at the company's offices everyday now and try to think of anything else, but I can't. When I am not working I am stuck to this coach thinking about Addison.

About the sadness I saw in her eyes, it was so intense I could almost touch the scars I have caused her. I could feel her soul breaking and her heart cry, all while she stood there, not moving, not giving me a reaction.

I think about the sound of her laughter, it is the definition of happiness, but now, I'll never hear that again. I'll never be happy again.

I pull the door and find Joshua on the other side. I don't know how we won our matches, I feel like a ghost around the court.

The fucking magazines loved that. He's been pushing me every time I have seen him to know what's wrong and I just avoid him.

"What?"

"Is that how you normally answer your door? Where are your manners, cap?"

"Yes, when a lunatic is banging on it."

He walks past me and enters my house uninvited. He sits on the couch and raises his legs on my dirty coffee table. "Wow." He raises his eyebrows.

"Your home is disgusting."

It's not my home. Addison is my home. I want her to come back here. I want to feel at home again with her in my arms. I want her to come shout at me, fight me and tell me how big of an asshole I am. I want her to break my heart all over again on repeat, but I just want her here. I want her home.

"What do you want?" I have no patience for this.

"You want to tell me why you broke it off with Addison?'

"No." I cross my arms. I feel like a toddler lying to my own father. "I told you not to use that voice on me."

"Can't help it anymore. Anyways. You need to tell me the truth. Whatever stupid thing you did, we can fix it."

"No, we can't. I made sure of that."

"Then you're an idiot."

I sigh and sit across from him. "I know."

He lowers his leg and leans forward. "Look man, I know you love her, and I know how you love. You love deeply and fiercely. Anyone you care about in your life is loved so hard to a limit it is sometimes suffocating, man. Really, you spoil Joey so much, I really am scared for her safety from it now." We both chuckle lightly.

It is the first time I have given any reaction other than grunting and frowning since that day.

"But this is Addison, Aaron. The Addison Carter, who you've wanted for almost five years now. You love her the most, I know it."

I do. The love I have for Addison is like the sun, always in full illumination. Day and night my love for her is there. Even when the sun doesn't appear it still shines, even when I didn't have Addison I loved her. I needed her just like Earth needs the sun.