First Kisses Are Never Forgotten

Chapter 43

ADDISON

Why did my legs stop moving? My god, just hearing the word 'please' from him is doing this much to my body. He sounded so broken the word cracked when he said it. I just could control myself and keep pushing and running to my car.

Joshua face-timed me and convinced me to come here today by using the team and Joey's cute face. I didn't want to come, I didn't want to see him, but When I heard what Dean did I knew he'd want my help today.

I had my suspicions about Dean since the moment I met him and it grew every time I talked with anyone from the team. I didn't just do it for him, I did it for my team, I did it because it is my job. Or at least that is what I am telling myself.

I hear him taking a foot step nearer to me. When I don't move forward, he takes that as a good sign to take the next.

"Let me see you, Addison." His voice is so soft, so gentle, unlike the last time I heard him speak to me.

His tone now breaks something in me I didn't know was left unbroken. It makes me realize that I will remember him longer than I have known him.

All I have of this version of Aaron are memories, memories that hurt me every time I remember them. They hurt too much that I can't even cry anymore.

I spin around and look at him with my pale eyes. What he sees in my face shakes him. Hit makes him flinch.

Maybe, he sees what he did to me in my eyes. How it changed them Changed my tone, my touch, me. Maybe he sees that I'm never coming back.

I keep telling myself that, even though all I want is him, is to be with him. Not Aaron from that day, but the Aaron I lived with for almost a year. The Aaron I love. Loved.

"I met you almost-"

"I know." My voice, unlike my heart, is strong and sharp as a knife.

His eyes widened in surprise but he recovered quickly and continued what he was saying. "I tried to forget about you the whole semester, I couldn't. I failed.

" I tried to not dream about you every night after that kiss, but I failed. I tried finding other things that might get me out of my misery when I thought I hit rock bottom, but I only wanted you. I only thought of you. I waited for you even though I knew I'd never see you again. But you found me. You came in here and you saw me. I tried to push you away, not touch you, and not be with you. I failed to. I tried to stay away, to not think about you. I utterly failed. Our lives would've been easier if I did. I wouldn't have hurt you."

I won't give him my tears. I hold them back and keep looking into his begging, golden freckled eyes.

"I tried not to love you, but I failed. And I was the happiest man alive when I did."

I can't speak. I can't move. I can't do anything except stare at him.

"It's always been you. My first and last. My only love. I...I have never loved anyone like I do you." He stutters. "E...even if you never forgive me, even if you move on, I will forever be yours. I'll still love you. Forever."

He snicker and shakes his head, "I pray you move on and find someone better. Someone who wouldn't hurt you like I did, but I won't make it easy for them, Addison."

"I failed every time when it came to you. I failed you. I won't fail you again. I will fight for the both of us. I will fight and I won't fail this time. I will spend the rest of my days making it up to you, whether you come back to me or not. I'll make it up to you."