First Kisses Are Never Forgotten

Chapter 7

AARON

Most people say the worst part of anxiety is the not being able to breathe, the hopeless and helpless feeling of being under water or whatever you hear people say when describing anxiety.

For me, it is the loop. The continuous loop of thinking. When I am anxious, nervous or even depressed, I can't stop thinking about it.

I think about everything that I am feeling and everything causing it. I think about what I should've done differently and the things I couldn't control. I think about when this panic attack will pass and when will the other one start.

I hate the loop. It just causes me more anxiety and pressure. However, for the first time in 3 years I wasn't in that loop.

I was in one much, much worse.

The Addison Carter Loop.

Most of my time I work on my company remotely, but I went to our offices to avoid thinking about her and be busy with other people.

It didn't work.

I had 2 balls spiked right into my face today because I was thinking about that little scar she has just below her mouth. I almost tripped while trying to set the ball for Joshua's point shot, without even jumping! Because I was thinking about how her hips felt so good under my hands. How she responded to every little touch and breath I gave her chest.

Finishing training was a miracle. Off course coach Dean Gave me the stink eyes all training, and kept reminding me when our first match was. It is tomorrow by the way, and I feel like shit for being this distracted.

I change and find myself taking the elevator to the medical team offices, specifically the lead doctor. Do I feel bad that I am not staying away and I know I deserve hell? Yes, I do, but there is no stopping my legs now. Or my brain...Or my dick.

I step out of the elevator and bump into a... Gavin?

"Hey cap."

What the hell is going on here?

I look over Gavin's shoulder, to find my whole team and some assistant coaches standing in a line in front of Addison's office.

A hard swallow moves through my throat. The burn in my chest spread, my hand flexed so hard. I feel like I want to beat up every one of my teammates. They are acting like they have never seen a woman before.

I move past all of them and enter her office without knocking.

I rub a hand over my face, trying to quiet the raging war in my head. I find Joshua lying on his back on a couch. Addison is on a chair and they are laughing as if they have been best friends for decades.

Can I kill my brother?

"You know, I should've added a fourth rule, where you knock." Addison says with a sassy attitude. I don't even look her way, I keep my dark gaze on my ex-best friend.

"Get. Out." I turn around and stand at the door, "All of you! Go home. You just had a checkup; you're all fine! Stop acting like horny teenagers!"

Disappointment and sadness crosses over my teammates' faces, they start mumbling and snickering while turning their backs to me and calling the elevator.

I hear Joshua's laughter coming from the office, I let my gaze go to him and give him the worst look I have.

He gets up, thanks Addison and walks towards me.

"Now I know why you've been acting extra weird." He whispers to me while giving me a devilish smile.

"Addie, this reminds me, Aaron got his real estate license from the same university you were in during med school. I think during your last year. Didn't you ever cross paths?"