𝐂𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐒 & 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 - 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆

29 | tired of lying

Can't play your game, so take me away
But without me, you're incomplete
⁺ 𓂋 𓈒

I was trapped in my room. More like I trapped myself in my room.

Telling my mom I was sick and skipped the rest of the week of school but I knew she didn't believe me. Smashed my phone, definitely on accident and not on purpose.

It rang and rang and the noise made my raging headache worse. Told my mom I dropped it and she brushed it off and said I needed a new one anyway.

Now, I sit on the floor of my room. I felt it, every day. The urge to question him, say "What the fuck?" and maybe punch him in the face. I didn't though.

I cried even though I was tired of crying. I cared way too much about this and I didn't know why. I mean, I knew why but I hated it.

My eyes stung with tears again and I groaned "I hate you" I said looking at the picture of Minho and me when we were younger, it sat on my nightstand. I stared at it a lot before bed but I couldn't now.

We were no longer those kids, that hurt.

I look to the closet and bite my nails, shaking my head. They can't win, not again. I grew mad, grabbing the picture frame and throwing it to the wall "Fuck you Minho!" I knew nobody was home, only Nora.

And they fell again, the tears on my hot cheeks as I knew I couldn't hate him. I wanted to. He made me like this. This mess. These feelings.

The door opens "Jisung" I heard Nora call my name,
closing my door as she walked to me and sat down beside me. I saw the worry in her eyes "What's wrong?"

I don't have the energy to lie to her, she's been so supportive recently. So I didn't, I didn't hold back as I said "Minho slept with Felix"

"That's why you got into a fight?"

"You heard?"

She gives me a sad smile "Everyone heard but your friends are quite intimidating so nobody told the principal" Her smile dropped "I didn't tell Mom and Dad either"

I looked away "You should of," I said "I think
I'm tired of lying"

I felt her hand on my knee "Then tell me" I looked up to my sister, "And your secrets are always safe with me"

I lick my dry lips "I relapsed"

She frowns "When?"

I look away again and sigh "A few days after that I convinced Mom and Dad to let me stay"

"I know," Nora said "It was only weed, wasn't it?"

I nod and look at her "Yes" I told her the truth "I then made a deal with Minho. We both sober up together" I chuckle sadly "I didn't last and relapsed again last weekend"

"Weed?" I shake my head and the tears escape her eyes "Jisung, don't keep doing this to yourself"

"I know but it's so hard to not want to escape from this feeling of not being enough" I cried.

"But you are"

"That's what he said!" I yelled and she furrowed her brows, still crying. "He said I was enough last time I relapsed"

"Who?"

"Minho" I wiped my tears "He lied to me"

She shook her head "Y-Your best friend?"

"No—Yes, fuck I don't even know what we are anymore" I admitted, looking at Nora who sat there confused "We have been... kind of seeing each other"

"Oh," She says and they tense up as it hits her "Oh my god"

I nod slowly "Yeah, oh my fucking god"

"Fuck him," She says and I stare at her, "I meant not fuck him but... never mind"

I let out a small snort as her embarrassment "No I think he fucked m—"

She covers her eyes and widens them eyes "Okay, that's my cue to leave" She gets up and uncovers her ears, more serious again "I know I'm younger than you but I'm still your sister, I'm here for you Jisung. Always"

[Now Playing - Joker by Jesse]

It's 12 am and I need to sleep (now after updating this book four times in the span of three hours lmao)

just know, most of the drama is over so go to sleep peacefully my loves <3