Destiny

5.Get your self together

Win

I am so stupid, i should know when he behave weirdly. Where are you my love. I miss you. I really miss you. I keep talking to myself. Its already 6 month.  I am running to every where. I am looking for my love. How will i live without him. His letter is so cruel. How will i forget him. He is in my heart. How will i forget him. He need to show me how to forget him. I am fighthing the world for him. How could he leave me.
I  am yelling angrily. I miss him to the point i can be crazy. I hate everyone, i hate my parent, i hate myself. I keep hurting myself.

Win, please son, my mom beg me. Please respect bright request. He sacrifice himself for you, she said. Again i just listen to her without any response. Since the day bright dissapear, i also leave the industry. I can stay even a second because its mean everything for me. I choose to retired and isolate myself. The media still talking about our dissapearing. Its still a mystery that every one try to resolve but i dont care. I need to find my love.

Where are you baby, i ask myself everyday. I keep going to his house everyday. I keep looking at his favorite place everyday. I believe i will find him.
Its already a year. Now i patiently wait at his mom grave. I know he wont miss his mom death annivesary. He love her so much. Please, i pray as hard as i could. Oh my god , i cry and run to my love. I run as fast as i could and hug him tight. I found you, i said and cry. I hug him tight.  He look suprise and try to run away.  Please baby, come back to me. I love you i said and beg him. He finally hug me. Please, he said softly. I miss him so much. I miss his voice.  Please forget me he said and cry. No, i yell at him. I wont. We promise to be together i said coldly. Please win, i cant be with you , i am sorry. Please forget me, he plead me. If i can forget you, i wont be this crazy , i wont be this man i said. I dont know how to forget you, you are my life. I will die without you , i said.

Let me go,  he said again. I refuse and try to bring him to my car. Win you are hurting me, he said. No, i wont let you go again. I will not do the same mistake twice i said. Win, i cant, he said. Why ,.i ask him. We love each other, i said. No we are not, i change, he said. No, you are not. You are the same person i love, i said. Please win, dont wait for me, i will never come back, he said. Now i look at him. I know his tone when he mean it. Why, i ask him. No reason, its already over for us. I am not qualify to be your partner , he said. I dont care about that damm rape. I love you , i yell at him. But i care, he said softly. I care about it so much, he said and cry. Please let me go, he said and push me hard. I lost my balance and fell down. I run to him, but he already in a black maybach. Bright , i yell at him.

I dont know how long i sit here at his mom grave. I cant move an inch. I believe he will come back to me. I know he will back. He know me so much. Both of us will wait each other if we promise. I just know he will back. Its already 9 pm. I still here waiting for me. I must he really strong, its more than 17 hour for me without water and food. I dont feel anything. I just wish to die if he disapear again. Win, i hear soft call.  i look at him. I know he will come. He still my baby, my love. I try to hold him, but i felt so weak and i see black.

When i wake up, i look at my beautiful lover. I try to touch his hand. Please baby, i plead him. He now look at me with cry. Why you live like this, he ask me. Where is metawin, he ask me again. He already dead the day you leave him, i reply and look at his eyes. Stop this nonsense, he said. I can see he is holding his tears. Before i ask him, i can see my parent run to me. Win, my mom cry and both of them look so shock when they see bright. I quickly stand in front of him. Dont worry, i will protect you with my life, i said. Win, my dad yell at me.
He gently push me,  uncle ,aunty, he greet my parent.  Dont worry, i dont come here to be with your son anymore. I already engaged, he said. Engaged, i ask him. I try to tell you at the grave yard , he reply calmly. Why, i ask him.  I am with someone else, he said. Why , i ask him again. There is no reason, i fall in love with other person , he said calm and clear. So please forget me , he said. No, i said. I dont believe it, i said. Its up to you, he said. Since your parent already here, i will leave, he said. No, i hold his hand. I am glad we separated, i dont know you are this weak he said coldly. I need someone who can protect me, he said again. Now i look into his eyes. I try to find the truth. Your cute baby lover already dead, he said. Get your self together, maybe we can smile to each other if we come across each other next time, he said and push my hand before walk out my door.

02.10.23