Destiny

17.He look uncomfortable

Win

What are you doing here, i ask bible coldly. He just sit silently in front of me.
He want to see you, he finally said.
I try to hide my excitement but i cant. Where is he, i ask and look at the door. He is not here, bible said calmly.
I will arrange the meeting. But i need to ask for something, he said. I look at him. He is trying to move on, can you help him to move on ,he ask me. I look at bible like he is crazy. I am trying my best to make him stay but this dummy ask me to help him move on. I cant promise you that, i said. Just know that he is also like you, try to live, and he is trying his best, he said calmly and look at me.  Let meet at cloud9 for dinner. I will bring him there, he said slowly. No need, i can meet and pick him myself, i said coldly. You must forget that, he and you are married man. It wont look proper , bible said a bit firm. I just laugh loud. You wont think about proper if you live my life, i said. He asked me to acompany him. I dont think he will go alone, bible said again. That really hurt. How we come to this extent, he even need someone to accompany him to meet me. He the one who always cry and laugh with me. The one who will sulky if i forgot his favorite food. Okay, i said slowly and look at the door, a hint to bible to get out of my office. I really cant see his calm face. It will easier if we fight each other, but this bastard keep himself high and pretend to be noble.
Are you coming home tonight, i read my wife message. No, i reply coldly.

I cant work at all after bible visit. I try to calm myself and imagine our meeting. Its still early but i already at the cloud9. I want to see him from the start. I only can laugh and pity myself. Before , i always make him wait for me. But now i am too early for our meeting and wait for him like crazy. I know, i still in his heart. From my sit, i can see 5 black luxury car arrive at the cloud9. When all the bodyguard stand beside their car, i can see how bible get out the car and gently reach out for my love. I can see how he hold bible hand and look at him nervously. I cant hear what bible said, but i can see how he glare and sulky with bible. He try to leave him, but bible gently hold him and tidy his hair. After a few word from bible, my love smile and hold bible hand back. He look comfortable with bible. And he also look calm like bible. After that i cant see them anymore because they are surrounded by their bodyguard.
I let them walk into the cloud9. I need to calm myself.

After a while, i slowly walk into the cloud9. I can see my love is nervous and his husband sit there calmly and listen to all his words. Bible gently hold and kiss his hand. When he see me, he slowly release my love hand. I nod to bible and look at my love who now look at me. Can i hug him, i ask myself. While i being confuse, he suddenly stand up and hug me. I cant believe it, i hug him tight. Thank you for coming, he said and gently distance himself. I can feel how he push me away slowly.  I look at him. Of course i will come, i reply to him. Thank you, he said and back to sit beside his husband. I can see both of them talk with their eyes. I need to go for a while, i will come back bible suddenly said and stand up. My love quickly hold bible hand and look at him desprately. Its okay, bible said and pat his hand before push his hand softly.
I just nod to bible. Have you order, i ask him to easy the tense. He nod. I hope you still like it he said. Dont worry, i still the same, i said meaningfully. He just nod and smile. How are you, i ask him. I am fine, how about you, my love ask me. Lonely and hurt i said without thinking. He look guilty and look down. I am sorry, i  said. He look at me. No, its okay. I am the one who should ask for your forgiveness , i am sorry for leaving you, he said slowly. I still look at my love who are differ now. I cant trace his love and longingness anymore. He really move on. I must be stupid, missing him like crazy but he already move on. So what up,  Why you want to meet me baby, i ask him boldly. He look shock. Please win, both of us married. Let respect our partner, he said. I just laugh and he look at me weirdly. I am sorry, i said again. Its really funny and hurt. The word married felt like a big joke to us.
I want to end it for real this time. So that everyone can move on, he said calmly. I am sorry win for leaving you without a word. I am sorry for everything, he said with teary eyes. I continue looking and listen to him. I come to congratulate your wedding. I want you know, that i am happy for you , he said again. Cant you congratulate me too , he ask me. I will if he is not bible, i said. Why , he ask me quickly. Do you know you are married to a rapist, i ask him angrily. He just look down. He is too calm. You already know, i ask him with unbelievable tone. I do, he slowly reply. And you still married to him, i ask him loud. Please calm down win, he said. Phi bible was druged that night and he dont mean to hurt me purposely. Its my bad luck when i am on his way, he said . Are you crazy, i ask him. I cant believe what i hear right now. I know its sound crazy, but it is the truth, he said again. Is he blackmailing you, i ask bright. No, he is not, he quickly reply. Its not about him, its about us he suddenly said.
I come to make it clear, so we can live like normal person. Its been too long for us to stay in the dark. We need to move on, especially you. You have a child and wife who really need you , he said coldly.
I look into his eyes. Do you love bible, i ask him. He look at me and slowly said, no. But i love what we have now, i will try to love him, he quickly add firmly. Do you love me, i ask him again. He look at me and reply. It does not matter anymore. Its already over for us. I come to say that, i will go if you cant calm down , he said firmly. So this is the last time you will see me, i ask him again. No, i wont run or hide anymore. I will move on. I will greet and smile when we meet, but it will only end there he said clearly. Now he felt uncomfortable and start looking for his husband. I cant believe i will see he look uncomfortable with me. I am sorry, lets eat first i said. I know i am presuring him. I have so much to say but i cant when he look like a stranger.

08.10.23