Destiny

9.What wrong with me

Bright

What are you doing here, i ask bible who suddenly at my yard. Leave me alone, i said coldly. Sometime i felt like broken cassette when i see phi bible. All i said is leave me alone. Luckily i dont have panic attack anymore. Slowly i start to believe he is drugged and he dont mean to hurt me. I slowly accept that hurt accident. I need to move on. I try to live. I need every luck from the world to move from that night accident and metawin. But when i try to forgive him, all the pain will come back to me. I just cant forgive him right now. I need time to forgive myself before I forgive him.
We need to talk, he said gently. Its really weird today. Normally he just look at me and leave after i ask him every time he come to my farm house. I dont know why but he keep visiting me from time to time. Even we don't talk, he just come to see me and leave without any word. That why I know he is regretting the night. He try to ask for forgiveness.
No, i said and try to leave him. Its about metawin, he said. That make me stop and look at him. He ask me to bring you to the event, to proof our relation he said. No need, i dont want to get involve with both of you, i said. Okay, he said and quietly leave the invitation card.
After that he just leave me alone like always.

I want to yell at phi bible when he send me the suit. Sometime i regret i dont use phone anymore. I cant yell at him immediately and his people wont dare to disobey his order. So now both invitation and suit are in my house. I cant help but blamed phi bible because the suit make me think a lot. I need to make win understood that we are over.
I rolls my eyes when i see phi bible car waiting for me at the day of the event. He really can read me. After u nod to the driver , i reluctantly get into the car. I am glad i was alone now. It give me a chance to prepare myself. When i arrive at the hotel, i can see phi bible team already waiting for me. Thank you, i politely said to the driver. I look how phi bible look so handsome and gently open the door for me. I glare at him who look at me with open mouth. I hate when he treat me like a girl. It make me blushing. Do i look bad. Its been a year for me to doll up. What, i ask him coldly. Nothing, lets go he said and escort me to his team. He look at me when i stand behind him. He cant say a word when i refuse to look at him. I am grateful because he never force me and always listen to me.

What is he doing. I can see how everyone look at me. I can see people start whispering to each other. Please win, i pray in my heart. Win look different. He look like a new person. Only his gaze still the same win i know. I am trying hard to act strong. When a small hand hold his arm, i nearly faint. Its hurt so much but i cant let him know. I need to be strong. He is doing fine. He look so majestic. He is win that i never know. I am proud of him. Its true, he become bigger person without me at his side. Now i believe, i make a good decision. But, why my heart felt so hurt. I cant breath. I really need to go. Phi bible suddenly hold me tightly. I look at his eyes angrily. But he still look at me with his calm face. I know he wont let me go. I cant help but teary. I am hurt. Cant he understand. I finally cry when he block me from the view of win walk a way with a beautiful girl. I dont want to cry but tears keep flowing. Phi bible dont say anything but he just stand there look at me. After i calm down, i wipe my tears and look at phi bible. I want to go home, i said. But for the first time i felt like talking to the air. He did not response to me and carefully bring me to his room. Wait here, we will back later he said and leave me with his man.
I try to smile to phi bible man because i felt guilty. After a while, i stand up and the guard quickly come to me. I want to see phi bible, can i, i ask. After received the approval i walk into the event again but with calm emotion. From far i can see how everyone suround phi bible and try to please him. I can see a few girl and handsome boys try to flirt with him. Its really annoy me. We are suppose to go home, but he still flirting here. I really dont know how, but i suddenly stand in front of him. I want to go home , i said and i am sure everyone around him will hear me. I am not that gentle. I can see phi bible smile even only for a few seconds. I can see the boys and girls glare at me. Okay, he said and gently pull me by his side. My fiance are tired, we will excuse ourself first phi bible said and gently escort me to leave the ball. I can hear people start talking. I look at phi bible but he still walk proudly. I really admire his charisma. No one dare to say anything at his face.

I was so worry and angry at he same time. So i skip my lunch and dinner. And here i cant eat anything.
I felt like dying when i heard my stomach. Phi bible try to hold his smile. Stop at the cloud9 he said calmly. I look at him. I am hungry, i need to eat he said. I cant say anything but glare at him. Deep inside I am thankful for his kindness. I am really hungry and i dont care how phi bible look at me like an alien. Slow down, no one will steal your food , phi bible said. I stop eating and look at him with mouth full of food. I want to scold him but i cant. I can see his man try to hold their laugh. Now i glare at all of them. I am sorry, phi bible said. He try hard to hold his laugh.
Now i become more polite and neat. I eat slowly. I never thought i can act this way with phi bible. The only person who i allow to see me behaving like this is win. We always fight because he hate when i act like crazy guy. What wrong with me.

04.10.23