Destiny

19.Thank you

Bright

I am mean guy. I have to act cruel and make him hate me. I need too. I promised his parent. I also felt sorry for his wife and his baby. They are innocent. There are the one who need his love, not me. I know , we cant be together. I already accept our destiny a long time ago. After saying all the mean word which really hurt him, we now sit quietly and start our dinner. I felt uncomfortable. I keep looking for my husband. Can you pretend he is not here tonight, win ask me. I cant and i will be a lying if i said i can, i said firmly. I dont know why, but i eat properly and be like what win always want me to be. Growing in a pretige family, he always make me behave and follow the standard. But as always, i will do all what I want and he finally give up trying to create new me and accept me as myself. Are you happy, he ask me slowly. I will be lying if i said i am fully happy, but i really love what i have now, i reply. I dont have any presure to be perfect and be someone i could not be, i said again. He must treat you well , win said. He is, i said quickly. You really wont come back, he ask me. I nod. He look deeply into my eyes. After a while win chuckle. Its so easy for you, win said. No, its not, i quickly said. I just wake up from the dreamy bubble earlier than you, I reply gently. You should too, i said and look into his eyes.
I only ask you to wait, win said. And after that, i ask him back. I look into his eyes. I need him to understand. Is the title so important to you. I can be husband to anyone, but i will love you the most win said frustratedly. Is that not enough he ask me a bit loud. It's really hurt me, but i just smile. Forget about me win, lets forgive each other , i said slowly. You should eat, i said and look at his untouch food. Baby, Come back to me please, win beg me now. You know me win, i wont. We have other responsibility now, i said. I meet you to end all this, i wont let myself being a problem to anyone. You know we cant be together, You are doing fine, you even have a child. What more do you want, i ask him clearly. You, i want you the most out of everything i have , he said firmly. I cant, I am sorry. I already surender myself to my husband. I will learn to love him and i already know how to live without you. I can survive before, so i definitely can forget about about us gradually. Let stop this, i said again firmly. No, i will kill bible , win said angrily. Then, you will see my dead body too. I am his partner, i will live and die with him, i said. I really mean it. I know it from my heart. Win cant say a word and keep looking at me. Stop being stuborn, i know , somehow you also regret fall for me, i apreciate your love but we don't mean to be together, i said again gently this time. Please bright, win beg me. He know me too much. He know i will move on for real. I cant live without you, he said. You can and you will, you already prove it , i said. Yes i did, i live, but i felt like dying every second ,he said pitifully. Then die, I said coldly. can you just let me happy, i ask him. My heart are so hurt right now. I am in pain, i know win will feel it worst than me. I felt i cant breath. He look at me with his hurting eyes. We are over, i said and leave him alone. I try to walk as fast as i could. I dont want win to see my tears. I dont want to waste my effort. I will be the bad guy here. Let me be the bad one, please move on win I said and cry. I look for my husband. I really need him. When i see him, i run to him and let all the tears fall. I let all my sadness out and hug him tight. When he hug me gently i felt more sad. I felt sorry for my husband and I am glad at the same time because like always, he will be there for me.

He never ask me about me and win meeting. He still the same husband i have. I try to apreciate him. I learn to love him. I find his goodness which is hard to find before. I really try to love him like i promise metawin. I also know, he only patient and nice to me. I know he is not simple phi bible i know. He is more than what i see and felt. I know what win mean when he worry about me. Since the meeting, like i said , i really change. I live like normal people. I dont hide anymore. I sometime follow my husband and even get into the news. My fans start looking for me back. But i really love my peaceful life. I wont back to that life. Further more, my husband is the richest guy, i dont even need to lift my finger. All i need to do is enjoy my account. I try to live like a normal couple even i know, we will never be normal.

Can i have you tonight kitten, my husband ask me after his 1 week long out station. Please he said and hug me softly. I push him slowly and look into his eyes. I know i cant avoid it . So i just smile and kiss his lips. I dont know why, i am happy when i see his happy eyes. I am happy when he smile happily. I miss you so much he said and kiss me gently. I know i will have a long night. All i can do is moaning under my husband the whole night. Are you okay kitten he ask me and wipe my sweat after he satisfy all his need. I nod and refuse to look at him. I know i want him too. Until today, i still shy after our intimate moment. Let clean you he said and let me soaking in bath tub. He quickly clean our bed and then come back to me to help me relax. Thank you baby, he said and carress my face gently.

I really lock win in one part of my heart. He will always in my heart. I will always cherish our memory. I will always love him. Nothing can change that. I know I am a bit greedy and it's not fair to my husband. But that the best I can do now. I still trying to be better husband.
Phi, i pull phi bible hand when i see win and his pregnant wife. My husband just smile and grasp my hand. Lets go he said. Now i can sit beside my husband , infront of metawin and listen to their business talk or fight. They always a rival since begining. I just smile and nod to emely. She is really beautiful girl. I hope she dont hate me. Thank you, emely said suddenly when both our husband leave the table. And i am sorry too, she said slowly. Please, i quickly interupt her. Trust me, its over between us, I said. She look at me sadly. I am sorry she said again. Please dont, It because of ourselves not because of you and your baby, i said and smile to her. She look at me try to understand me. I wish you are a girl, she said. So we dont have to face this, she add sadly. I look at her with my big eyes. No, i dont want to be a girl, i said and she laugh to my reaction. I think i know why both of them love you, she said again. He will love you, i promise, i said. When is the due, i ask to change the topic. It will be next month, she said happily. I wish win will forgive me. I am dying to be your son godfather, i said. He wont let me , i said slowly. Let keep a secret, i allow you to be my son's father , emely said and look at me happily. I look at her. She is really perfect for win. I hope win can realize it soon. Really, thank you i said and smile to her. Everything will be okay she said again.

09.10.23