Destiny

15.Dont blame me

Bible

I know it wont be easy to persuade him. I have no choice but to threatening him a bit. Its been 2 years but he still at the same place. He look happy when he meet his family at farm but the truth is, he still crying every night , missing metawin and he do everything only for him. He is the one who really need to move on, because all he do is for metawin. I need to get involve and put a bit presure to force him to move on. I know he is a guy who are kind and responsible. So i believe he will try his best to be my good husband. I just need to play it right. During this two years even he hate me for that night accident, he gradually forgive me. He is that kind of person who will try his best for other people. He hate to hurt other people. I try my best to be with him all this time, but i dont think he even notice me. He even agree to marry me because of metawin. How big his love for him. I know deep down in my heart i felt hurt. Sometime i wish it not him that night, it will make it easier for me but sometime i am grateful it was him. I will never felt this love if it not him. People can call me cruel or what ever they want. But he look at me as bible not some rich guy or mafia, and that really touch my heart.  That one of the major reason i want to make him mine.

I really hate to see him sad. But i promise to make him happy. Are you tired kitten, i ask him. He shake his head. Can you walk, i ask him gently. Hurm he reply and get up from my cabin at my office.. Are you hungry, i ask him again. He nod cutely. Lets go i said and help him walk. Its already months , but he still cold and rarely talk to me. But like I said , he is adjusting himself with his current situation. I just need to give him a bit push and time. Normally i let him stay at home, but today, i really try to hide metawin wedding from him. I let him stay with me all the time. I want to be with him if he aware of the marriage.

I just meet my best friend and he look a bit down. I let my best friend be my representative at metawin wedding. I dont know but i feel sad when i saw metawin he said. What do you mean i ask. I think part of him is not there, i dont see any emotion , my friend said again. I cant response to that and look at my husband in cabin. I am really scare of my husband reaction.
Is he alright my friend ask me. I dont know, i said. Dont worry, it not your's or bright's fault. Its the society who dont accept this kind of relation. Metawin is trap in that orthodox family and he is not suitable for bright because he cant fight for him. Not everyone can be brave and have power to be like you, he said try to comfort me.
I cant say anything to that. I really cant. I just wish my kitten to accept me and move on.

Can we dine out today, my husband suddenly ask. I look at him. Why, out of all the time, he request it today. I really want him to stay home like always. Sure, i said ackwardly. To the cloud9 i said to my driver. Phi, he call me a bit loud when i dont response to him. Are you not feeling well, he ask me. No, i am okay i said. Why are you so absent minded , he ask me again. I just tired , i said. We can go home , if you are tired he said understandingly. No, its okay i said and smile to him. Dont smile, he said and turn to his other side. I just can chukle on his attitude. He is trying to hate me and but his personality dont allow him to hate me for real. Its really cute and make me happy.

Are you worry about win marriage, my husband suddenly ask. I look at him with open mouth. I am not that ignorant. Even i dont use media social anymore , i still read news, he said calmly. Dont worry, i wont run to his wedding and act like a movie male lead, he said and chuckle. I know my status and i wont bring shame to you, dont worry he said again. I am sorry, i dont mean it like that, i just want to be with you when you received the news, i said clearly. I dont want my husband misunderstand my intention. Lets eat, he said after that. I really dont expect this, he is too calm. Are you okay, i ask him slowly. He nod and continue eating. Eat slowly, no one will steal your food, i said and wipe his mouth. He is handsome beautiful guy who look ethereal at anytime except during meal time. He really enjoy his food. Leave it, he push my hand and continue eating. I try to find the sadness but he look like always. Is he really accept his destiny or is he hiding his sadness from me. You know kitten, i really dont care if you want to cry, i am not that cruel i slowly said. He look at me and smile. Dont worry, I will cry if I want he said.

Can i go with you, he ask me slowly when i inform him that i will be out station for a week like before. Its okay he said quickly before i answer his question and try leave. Kitten, i quickly hold his hand and hug him gently. Can you give me time to process your sudden request, i ask him with chuckle. He look at me and slowly ask again. Can i , he ask again. Of course you can i said and peck his lips happily. He just rolls his eyes because he know, he cant do anything to make me stop kissing him.
It just simple request, but i felt like in heaven. I know he never refuse my sexual need, but what i want is more than that. I want all of him. Call me greedy but i really love him. Let me go, i want to pack my beg he said try to escape. No, let cuddle i said and hug him tight. I hope he can feel my heart.
Have anyone told you how hugable you are, i ask him. He look and rolls his eyes again. You told me thousand times as excuse to hug me, he said annoyingly. I only laugh on that. Except me, i ask again. No one, he said. I dont know wether he is telling the truth or not, but i really happy. Stop it, he said and laugh when i slowly caress his legs. He is very sensitive guy. Can we make love kitten, i ask him suddenly. Can we not, he ask me back. Why, i ask him. I want to enjoy tomorrow trip, he said with red face. But i always gentle with you i said try to tease him. He just glare at me hinted that i am liar. Dont blame me, you are so tempting , i said and hug him again. He look at me and plead with his eyes.
Okay, i will be patient i said and he just smile. thank you he said softly.

07.10.23