Destiny

6.I miss you

Bright

I am shaking badly. I need to be strong. When i walk out his door i finally cant hold it anymore. Before i fell down, a pair of strong hand hold me. He gently lift me up. I hate you, i said. I am so numb. I let phi bible bring me to his car. I have no energy to fight with him now. So i just let him do what he want.  I cant believe after a year the i am back to this place.

Phi bible gently put me at the passenger side. He help me with the seat belt. I really dont have energy right now. I thought i will be strong. I cant believe my self. Looking how his house and his condition, i know he is being hard on himself. He is punishing himself. I really cant let him keep toturing himself. I dont know how engaged word come. I need to reject him for real and let him move on.

Its was a silent journey. Now i am back at my farm house. I live queitly here with my cat and dogs. I even plant my own vegitables. I love how it so quiet here. I only have a few neighbours who are old and focus on their after retirement life. I even have unknown neigbours who i never meet since year ago. How phi bible know my house. No one know about this. I really isolate my self here. I dont even have internet and mobile phone. I really dont know what happen to the world now.
After he make sure i am in my bed, phi bible finally leave me alone.  I know he is powerful man. So knowing my hidden place is piece of cake for him. For now, i need to rest. I dont want to think of anyone, including my life metawin.

Morning bright my old neigbour greet me. I quickly run to my gate. Morning grandpa. Can i help you, i ask. No, its okay. I just want to meet our mystery neighbour. I think he stay here last night grandpa said.  Really, i ask him. Are you okay bright, you have swollen eyes he ask me. I am okay grandpa. Come, let meet them.  He said and i tag along.
Hello, good morning my cheerful neighbour greet the mystery neighbour. Hello, he said ackwardly. Hi, i am grandpa simon , and this is bright he introduce us. Hi grandpa, hi bright he reply slowly. I am bible he introduce himself. I cant believe my eyes. Nice to meet you, we have gathering this evening, my wife will cook, will you joint grandpa ask him. He must be busy grandpa, i try to talk to granpa simon. Really, grandpa simon ask phi bible. He just nod. My wife will felt sorry, i hope you can joint so this young boy here can have a friend he said. I am sorry grandpa, phi bible said gently. Its okay, i used to young and have a busy life, feel free to come if you are free he said and i quickly follow him to invite his another friend. Its just 10 farm house here. Most of us know each other. At first they thought i just come for shor vacation but after a year i become part of their family. I never hungry here.

Now i am ready for dinner gathering. I am waiting for uncle paul and his wife. He make me promise to make me wait for him. When i see them, i know why he insisting me to wait for him. I dont know which girl he will introduce to me now.
When i see her, i can see he know me.  I politely bow and walk beside her. What are you doing here, she ask me. I already retired. I need to recharge i said. Can you please keep it secret. I love it here, and all this uncle and grandpa love privacy so much i said. Dont worry phi bai, i know you but i just casual fans she said and laugh. Thank god ,i said and again both of us laugh. I can feel how someone observing me. When i look around, i can see how phi bible wearing an apron and helping grandma lisa.
What is he doing here, i ask myself. I try to act calm and walk to the back yard. Grandpa simon are so happy because he have so many guest. I just listen and laugh at all the senior citizen joke. I am here as a helper. Normaly i am incharge for their need, but tonight phi bible play my role so i can just sit and looking at them.

Its already midnight when me, phi bible and rose finish cleaning uncle simon back yard. I need to go first, rose said and said good bye to us. Its really ackward. Are you done , uncle simon ask. Yes grandpa,  have a good rest i said and hug him. Both of us leave uncle simon house and phi bible help to lock their gate.  Without any word i quickly leave phi bible and get into my house. I dont say a word to him.  I still can forgive him and he break his promise. I hate someone who easily break their promise.

I look at the moon and calmly drink my coffee. I know i am running from my problem. But i love it here. I dont need to think of anything.  I can ignore what happening to the world. I can hear phi bible car leave his farm house. I hope he wont come again. I want my peace life back. I just dont want to see anyone.
I am trying my best and i know i can do it. I am sorry win, i miss you.

03.10.23