kit connor X male reader

alots happened, blackmail, food

Tw: mention of sh, eating problems

I wake up about an hour or two later and kits playing with my hair once again, I swear to god he is obsessed with it.

Kit notices and kisses my head before asking if I feel a bit better now, and I nod slightly, and I sit up onto kits lap, and kit sits up too.

I start moving his hair out from his face, and then I mess it up again, giggling slightly, and kit chuckles

"What are you doing?" he laughs a little

I smile a bit, and I continue playing with kits hair, when I say kits obsessed with my hair, I think that also works with me, too.

Kit laughs a bit and watches me play with his hair

"Darling," he chuckles. "Can we talk?"

I ignore him knowing that he would want to talk about me self harming and not eating, and that shit and I continue playing with his hair

"River, please listen to me," he says softly

I once again didn't listen, and I continued playing with his hair.

Kit takes my hands away from his hair and holds them so i wouldn't have any distractions, and he looks at me sympathetic

"Baby, I need you to listen and talk to me," he says gently

I look at Kit, then I nod, and he starts talking, and I wasn't really listening, and I look up at him, then put one of my hands on his cheek

"You're really cute." I smile

"And you're cute too, but I need you to listen to me -"

I cut kit off by pressing my lips on his gently, I put both my hands on kits' cheeks, and while he does kiss back and tries pulling away after a few seconds

I pull his face closer to mine, and kit gently moves my hands off his face

"Baby, please,"

"I want to kiss youuu." I say, "I love kissing you."

"I love kissing you too, but -"

I cut him off again, but this time, I kissed him on his neck, and he freezes, blushing intensely

"R-river-" he says

I kiss a little harder in response, and kit bites his lip, I smirk against his skin, and I continue also while biting gently. I gently kiss up towards his ear, and I start whispering dirty things in his ear

"River, not now, maybe later," he says quietly, trying to move me away

"Please, I need you to rearrange my guts," I say, moving my finger up and down kits chest

"No, maybe later." He says

"You can't just leave your boyfriend horny now, can you?" I smirk

Kit sighs, then looks at me

"Do I really have to blackmail you I to talking to me?"

I smirk, then shrug

"Fine, if you talk to me, I'll give you a hand job."

I think for a few minutes before agreeing. Kit wraps his arms around me and kisses the top of my head

"So what's up with your eating? You're usually fine and eat most of your food, " he asks softly

"I don't know," I say quietly. "One minute I can be fine with eating an the next I just can't, sometimes for no reason."

Kit nods slightly, but I can tell he's confused

"Think of it like koda when he goes through a hunger strike, and he doesn't eat for a few weeks or a few months, i can be like that kind of"

"How do you feel when that happens?" he says gently

"Stressed and pissed and shit like that, they usually happen because im stressed." I chuckle slightly

"Hey, what are you stressed about?" He asks sweetly, and kindly

"I don't know, kinda my weight, I've been feeling really dysphoric and stuff," I mutter

"How long have you been feeling like that?"

"About a month..." I say quietly

"Oh baby, you could have told me,"

he hugs me tight, and I nod, hugging him back. He doesn't get it. He never will. Cis people don't get it, they don't understand this shit us trans bastards have to go through

I don't know what I feel and what to feel, I feel angry for no reason and sad, but I feel relieved to have told him but maybe it wasn't a good idea to have told him.

We hug for a while, then Kit asks if i want to try and eat again, and I say yes. Kit immediately knew that I'd want to be  carried.

He stands up, and I wrap my legs around his waist and my arms around kits neck. Kit grins and then looks at me

"Still got your boner then," he chuckles

I completely forgot I had that, I looked up at him, my face completely red.

"If you eat something, even if it's small, I'll give you that handjob you want." He smiles

I agree, and he walks in the kitchen again, and he asks what I want to eat

"Just some crackers," I say quietly

Kit opens the cupboard door and gets out the packet of cracker, then puts three on a plate, then puts it on the table

"Alright, get down now,"

I get off of Kit, and I sit at the table, and I look at the crackers on the plate. Kit sits next to me and holds my hand, comforting me and telling me that it will be okay

I pick up one cracker, and I look at it before taking a small bite, I slowly chew it, part of my brain is telling me to spit it out and the other part telling me to do it.

After about an hour of crying, stressing, and punching the table, I end up eating most of the crackers, and kit hugs me tight, telling me how proud he is of me.

Kit kisses my head, then stands up and puts the leftover food in the bin and puts the plate in the sink.

I stand up and walk behind Kit, wrapping my arms around his upper waist, hugging him from behind.

I'm a little shorter than Kit, so I go on my tippy toes and whisper in his ear

"Am I going to get that handjob then?" I grin

"Maybe," he smirks

I act offended, and I playfully hit his upper arm

"What do you mean 'maybe?'" I say, crossing my arms

"You might get one you might not," he says, turning around facing me and leaning against the counter

"We made a deal, Mr connor."

He looks over to the side, the nods walking closer to me, then picks me up

"KITTTT"

He starts walking upstairs and then drops me on our bed and crawls over me

"You said you wanted a handjob," he smirks

"Yes, yes, I did," i smile, looking up at him