kit connor X male reader

its gotten really bad

Tw: sh, autistic meltdown

"No," I say bluntly

"Baby, please, you have to," Kit begs for like the fifteenth time

"No, I don't want to," I say, sitting on the sofa sulking

"Darling it not about what you want it's for your health." Kit sits next to me,

"I'm fine," I grumble

"No, you're not. i know what that means, please, " Kit begs

"Yes I am, just because I have not for two days, when I was thirteen I didn't for two weeks" I start crying

"That's no excuse river,"

"Why do you care?" I mumble

"Why do I care?" He cups my face in his hands "because I love and care about you."

I stay quiet, kits right, I need to eat, but I just can't. He kisses my head, and he looks into my eyes.

He asks me to eat again, and I start crying again and I stand up, and I storm off upstairs into the bathroom, and i lock the door.

I sob, and then I have the urge, I stand up, and I frantically look for something, I open all the cupboards and look in all the shelves just to find at least one razor.

After a little while of searching, I found one, and I sat back on the floor, and I looked at the blade before gliding it across my wrist.

It was all a blur, and there was blood everywhere, all on my arms and the floor, and I sob.

Kit knocks on the door softly and asks if I'm okay. I don't respond, and i just carry on crying and look at the blood everywhere

"Riv, can I come in, please?" He asks sweetly

"N-no," I say while stuttering

"Please," he begs

"...okay..." i say quietly."Promise you won't get mad."

"Of course not, baby," he says

I unlock the bathroom door and sit back on the floor, and I hug my knees, and kit walks in, and after seeing the state I was in, he immediately hugs me

I start crying even more, and kit hugs me tighter and comforts me

"It's okay," he says softly

We stay sitting on the floor hugging for a while, then Kit kisses my head before looking at me again

"Come on, let's clean you up,"

I nod, and Kit stands up and gets some stuff to clean my arm. He cleans my arms gently and carefully, and I wince in pain a few times. Kit notices, then kisses my cheek

"It's going to hurt," he comforts

Kit continues cleaning my arm and then puts some plasters on the deeper cuts, and then cleans the floor and then takes the blade out of his razer and puts it in the bin

kit looks at my jumper, which has blood stains on the sleeves, then looks at me again

"Darling, you have to take off your jumper. You have blood on it."

"Can I have one of your jumpers?" i say so quietly, Kit could just about hear

Kit smiles, then walks into our room and grabs one of his jumpers. He walks back in the bathroom and sits back next to me, then hands me the jumper

I sort of just sit there not doing anything fidgeting with the jumper in silence.

"Do you want me to help you put it on?" Kit says, deciding to break the silence

I continued staying quiet, but I nodded and kit ever so carefully took off the blood-stained jumper I was wearing and gently put on the other one.

After a while, we both went downstairs, and I sat curled up on the sofa while Kit made us both some toast.

He walks back in with two plates of toast, and he sits down next to me and puts the plates on the coffee table.

I look at the food on the table, and I start biting my nails, kit notices, and he gently moves my hand away from my mouth

"Don't bite your nails. You'll make them sore, " he says softly

I nod. After about ten minutes, kits finished eating, and I haven't even taken a bite

I keep bringing the slice of toast up to my mouth and then putting it back down, but it feels like something is blocking it going any further.

Kit rubs his hand on my back, comforting me as I try to eat but keep failing. I keep shaking my head, and I put the toast back on the plate for like the 100th time.

I put my head in my hands, and I start crying and keep repeating 'I give up' And  'I can't'

Kit pulls me onto his lap, and he hugs me tight, rocking me back and forth and kissing my head ever so often.

"You can do it," he says ever so softly

"I-i can't!" I sob

He continues rocking me, and I continue sobbing, and I soon realise I've gone into an non verbal autistic meltdown.

"Oh baby," he says quietly

He continues rocking me and comforting me, trying to calm me down

"Just focus on my voice, okay, and you'll start to calm down," he says gently

I nod, and after about half an hour, I start calming down and kit kisses me head

"There we go," he smiles, moving the hair out of my face

I fully calm down after a bit, and I hug kit, and he wraps his arms around me

"How about we try again later?" He asks

I nod

"You need to let go of me so I can put it in the bin,"

I shake my head

"Carry me," I say in almost a whisper

kit smiles, then kisses my head before grabbing the plate and standing up. I wrap my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck

He walks into the kitchen and puts the cold, untouched peice of toast in the bin and the plate in the sink, then walks back into the living room

He lays on the sofa, and I stay hugging him, and I feel him playing with my hair. My eyes start getting heavy, and I fall asleep softly on top of kit.