Shadow of the Day (Wolf Moon Sequel)

Chapter 57: Burden

Ivy POV 

That feeling of things being wrong continued a day later.

Dom was over again. Living with Joe wasn't exactly what I thought it'd be, or at least, I hadn't really been sure what to expect but it definitely wasn't this.

I was on my own a lot. Joe and I just didn't know how to interact to be comfortable, we hadn't really found our common ground or a way to flow together. A routine. And he wasn't around enough for us to really find a way to get through it either.

Back home, even if Dad worked a lot to support us on his own, he still made time to have dinner with us and have movie nights and stuff. And if he was busy Lila was there, even though she had been busier than usual doing secret things these last few months since we moved here. But if I was alone I was in my room or anywhere in the house, I had the freedom to do whatever I wanted, felt comfortable poking around and doing anything, but here...

It was Joe's house. It didn't have much and I didn't feel comfortable  having free range of the place yet, poking around through the cabinets or using things and there wasn't much in the way of entertainment here anyway. 

I was starting to feel pretty run down and tired, the stress of it all and being in a new house and alone was probably just getting to me and causing my growing headache. My bed wasn't terribly comfortable either and if I was honest, ever since I saw Lila transform in front of me I'd been having trouble sleeping and whenever I did manage to sleep it was riddled with nightmares. Dom was the only spot of levity I had, and even then it felt shaky since he'd suddenly turned to Team Lila.

I'd asked Joe what the plan was for this weekend, but he had said he was busy looking for work, and I didn't want to seem needy so I wished him luck and was left to my own devices. There didn't seem to be a place I really fit anymore, nowhere to find comfort. I couldn't remember the last time I felt relaxed and happy, it seemed like ages ago. 

Being cut off from Lila and even her friends had made me lonely and I just couldn't stomach hanging out with anyone else at school anymore, much less trying to put on a happy face and pretend life was great and make friends again. What was the point when no one was who they said they were? When everyone would either leave or lie? 

I kept up texting Dad and calling him occasionally, keeping a tether to my old life but even that seemed strained, stuck under the shadow of me leaving and Joe's existence. It felt like I'd chosen Joe over Dad, that I might have hurt him by doing it, but really it was more about getting away from Lila than choosing a family. 

I just wasn't so sure I belonged to either family anymore. Joe didn't seem all that interested in spending time with me now that I was here or getting to know me much anymore and I really wasn't sure if I could trust him either and Dad and Lila...I didn't know how to go back from everything I'd learned, this new side of Lila, or deal with all the secrets I hadn't known and might still be uncovered. 

Joe wasn't the most touchey feeley guy and even Dom admitted Joe can be pretty unsociable, but I'd hoped for more. That maybe he would at least try, harder than what he was doing, or maybe we'd find some common ground or maybe he was the piece I was missing to make me feel like I belonged somewhere. It all just felt wrong and uncomfortable, like I was wearing someone else's clothes that didn't fit quite right and was expected to deal with it. 

"Are you doing alright?" Dom asked, tentative in the quiet of the house.

I'd basically rolled out of bed and hadn't really bothered to put myself together like I normally would have. My hair was brushed but it was flat and ugly looking, I'd washed my face but didn't bother with makeup for once, and instead of putting on a nice outfit I'd given up and stayed in sweats and an oversized hoodie, one that I only realized when putting it on this morning that I'd accidentally taken from Lila when doing the laundry I while ago. It was too comfortable for me to bother taking off and switching for something else, even if it felt strange to wear something of hers right now.