Shadow of the Day (Wolf Moon Sequel)

Chapter 6: Hint

Once I finished showering and getting dressed I attempted to brush my hair. Damn it was so hard since it was always thick and full of knots. I couldn't wait until spring; maybe it would thin out a bit and be back to normal. Hopefully I won't be shedding like crazy, because that would be totally attractive. Not.

"Lila?" Ivy knocked on my door.

"Yeah?" I grunted, trying to untangle my wet hair from my brush, which seemed to be stuck.

"Can I come in?"

"Yes please! Maybe you can help me," I said, dropping my hands as I stared at the brush that was stuck in my hair.

She took one look at me and laughed, "What happened?"

"My hair is turning into a hairbrush eating monster," I sighed, "Can you help? I can't get it out."

"Okay then," she grinned as she stood behind me and started to untangle the brush from my messy hair.

"Lila?" she asked after a moment, eyes on her hands and the brush.

"Yeah?" I asked, watching her in the reflection of my mirror.

"At breakfast...you sounded kind of...disappointed when you said you weren't ready for...you know," her fingers never faltered, but I saw her eyes dart to my reflection, catching my eye.

"It's just..." I started, hesitating. Why was I hesitating? Ivy was my sister. I could tell her stuff like this. "It's just me and...him...are serious you know? And we keep getting close to it but I just keep freezing up. And I know he's ready for it and that he's waiting for me to be ready and I always feel so guilty and disappointed for not being ready. But he's always so nice about it and telling me its okay if I'm not ready for it and he's not pressuring me at all but I can't help but get frustrated about it because I really really want to but I just can't!"

Once I finished my rant I let out a big gust of air and my whole body relaxed.

Ivy pursed her lips, blue eyes thoughtful as she worked the brush out of my hair, "Well...I guess you can always keep trying. Or you could try to figure out what it is about doing it that scares you enough to freeze up."

"I'm not scared to have sex," I protested.

"Maybe you don't think so but subconsciously you are," she said gently, untangling a strand of my long brown hair from the brush. Suddenly the brush came free. "Woo!" she cheered, "I think I'll brush your hair today."

"Thanks," I said gratefully as she started brushing my long hair slowly, starting at the bottom, brushing out the knots there before moving upwards.

"Back to the issue at hand," Ivy said, looking serious again, "I think maybe you should do research about it? Maybe see if anyone else had the same thing you're going through and if they have any tips. Or possibly just go online and find a site that talks about sexuality and stuff; maybe it'll give you some things to think about or maybe clear away any questions you might have."

I licked my lips, thinking hard. She had a point. My knowledge of anything sex related pretty went as far as 'use protection', what Wyatt and I had done, and what few scraps of info I had retained from super sketchy and not very useful lectures at school. Those were more about diseases than anything else honestly. Probably trying to scare us into not having sex.

"It all depends on if it's a problem with the physical or emotional," she continued, still brushing my hair.

"Physical?"

"Yeah, like if you're self conscious about being naked in front of a guy, or if you're worried he won't think you're sexy or pretty or something," she waved the brush in the air, shrugging, "Emotionally it could just be that you're afraid to take the next step because it means you're getting closer and giving up the only thing you have left to give to a guy in a relationship at our age. You feel as if after you have sex he won't want you anymore because you have nothing else to move onto unless you get married or something goofy like that."